Alternate New Moon
by weirdocaitlin
Summary: Edward has left Bella. Now the story switches over to Carlisle's perspective. He opens up what the other's think of leaving Bella. But when Carlisle takes a drop in on a patient, he gets more than he bargained for...
1. Chapters 1 to 4

New Moon

**Chapter 4- Carlisle**

_This is _wrong_ Edward._ I couldn't help it. Leaving Bella felt almost criminal. It seemed like a fate worse than death.

"Carlisle, it's the only way! This is the only way to save her and make sure she has a better life, a life free of danger. She doesn't need me ruining her life…" Edward started off in scolding and ended hardly in a whisper.

We were driving through New Hampshire, on our way to Ithaca. Edward wanted to be as far away from Bella as possible to keep her safe… or he was trying to. We have been going back and forth on whether or not this was the right decision to make.

_Something _bad _is going to happen Edward. You know it, too. This was a mistake. _I have been trying to convince him the whole way that we shouldn't leave Bella. That it was more dangerous for her without us than with us.

"Bella promised," he spoke softly and heavily with sadness. He didn't like the idea, yet he was torturing himself to stay away from her. "She is always good to her word. This is going to work out. Enough," he shifted from soft to stern in an instant. His moods were always erratic.

We were quiet the rest of the way. Only Edward could hear anything. But I was careful with my thoughts. I was focusing on less pressured issues. Such as Esme and her seventeenth century home she was restoring, Rosalie and Emmett in Africa, thinking that Alice and Jasper should go and visit Tanya's clan in Denali. It was getting harder as I started to run out of other distractions. My thoughts always came back to Bella. And every time they did, Edward would turn and frown at me.

I couldn't understand why he was doing this. This would just make everything more of a mess. The peace will be silenced with madness and chaos. Leaving Bella was like leaving a snow-white hare in the middle of the rode. It was morally and logically wrong.

Luckily we arrived shortly after our last spoken words. I switched off the engine and slowly stepped out of the car. As I did, I saw Edward gazing in another direction.

I figured as much. "Where are you going to go, Edward?" I asked softly.

He started to say something, and then hesitated. "I don't know yet. But I can't stay here," he said solemnly. "Also, Alice will never forgive me for this. She will make sure my life is a living hell. Knowing her she will probably irritate me to death," he let out a humorless laugh, "so I think for the safety of my sanity I should go." Once again he laughed with no trace of humor. Trying to lighten up the tension is my guess.

"Take care of yourself," I spoke with love and honesty. "Call as often as you can." I dreaded having my family separated, but if this is what is best…

"It is Carlisle. I'm so sorry." He gazed at me apologetically. The sadness reached his eyes.

_We will all miss you. Esme especially. _She will be the most heartbroken. Edward has always been her first and favorite child.

"Tell her I'm so sorry, will you?" He asked.

"Of course." I walked around the car to hug him tightly. I hoped that someday I might be able to do it again. "Goodbye, my son." And he was off. Where to, I hoped to know soon.

I turned toward the house. The two story Victorian seemed as glorious as it had been 300 years ago. The wrap around porch had just been refinished and painted. I walked up the steps, knowing that the main construction was in full bloom on the inside.

To no surprise, I opened the door to the typical construction site. To the left was the long dining room. There was tarp on the old wood floors for the new paint. The large chandelier hung with plastic over it. To my right was the family room. Edward's grand piano in the far corner, covered with more plastic, the new furniture should arrive within the week. I walked a little further down the foyer, down a step, and turned right into the high-ceiling study. There I spotted Esme hunched over a small table, looking over more plans.

She new I was here. She turned to me and smiled. If my heart were still beating, it would have stuttered every time. Her bright smile always made me feel like I was falling in love all over again. Her childish dimples were the sweetest things I have ever seen.

I walked over to give a tight hug and a kiss. Our usual greeting.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Hi there," was her anticlimactic greeting. Then looked around me confusedly and asked, "Where is Edward?" her smile faded.

She took in my silence and looked down toward the bare wood floors. She understood. She looked back up and her eyes were glistening. This was the expression she always had when she wanted to cry.

"He left again, didn't he?" her voice was replete with sadness and shaky. I hugged her fiercely. Her eyes were clenched tightly closed. I new this would be harder for her than anyone else. Knowing that I couldn't make it any better made me feel helpless. I felt so utterly helpless to have her here in my arms, so sad, and not be able to wipe the frown off her heartbreakingly beautiful face. My only response came in a weak nod.

"He says he's sorry. He truly is Esme. I think he just needs time to clear out his head. I think this is just too hard for him to deal with when everyone here can only think about how they want Bella. It is bound to be difficult." I was defending Edward and trying to comfort Esme at the same time.

She nodded in agreement. "He should do what he thinks best. But I will miss him deeply. Our family just isn't complete without him," her voice started to waver, "…or Bella." She said the last so quietly I could hardly hear her. Esme always considered Bella a daughter. She missed her so much. And she hated as much as I did having our family apart. Esme was torn to pieces the first time he left. I'm sure this time will be just as bad. I treasured the smile she gave me when I walked in. Because it would probably be a long while until I saw another one.

We released from our tight embrace. We gazed at each other. I gave her one last apologetic glance, kissed her on her forehead, and turned to walk out. Esme wasn't the only who was going to take this very lightly.

Alice would need just as much comforting. I'm sure she would receive care from Jasper, but maybe she needed more than just Jasper in this one thing. Jasper still felt guilty about Bella, and wasn't as tightly bound. Jasper supported Edward in his decision, but he lost faith in himself after his unexpected attack. Edward claimed it was to be expected, but I'm certain he was as surprised as any of us were. We were very fortunate to have Edward be the fastest of us all.

I walked up one of the broad staircases that curved down both sides of the foyer. I took slow strides down the long hallway on the right. Alice and Jasper's room was the first on the right side of the hall…it had the largest closet. The second story hallways were painted a sage green, a natural color that brought more light into the house. Elaborate crown molding extended the length of the hallway. Esme's favorite artist, Degas, hung from the walls. Ballerinas have always fascinated Esme. But she was more graceful than the most experienced ballerina.

I approached Alice's door, and heard a "Come in," from within the room. It was a sad tone. And of course she would see me coming. I slowly opened the door and saw Alice sitting in the middle of her bed, her seeming frail arms wrapped delicately around her legs, her full lips in a pout. I walked toward her and sat on the edge of her bed. I could understand why she would be one of the most upset. She was so close to Bella, and loved her like a sister. Even before she knew Bella.

Alice saw herself and Bella, shortly after his encounter with her earlier this year, with an inseparable bond in a vision. She put her silent heart and soul into trying to be close to Bella without angering Edward. When Edward allowed her to become friends with Bella, she couldn't help but radiate the overwhelming feeling of pure joy. Now she was without the person she worked so hard to be with. Her feelings of melancholy and frustration had not gone misunderstood.

"How are you doing Alice?" It seemed like an appropriate way to start the conversation. I had a pretty good idea of what her answer would be, and I didn't know how well this would go, but it made me feel useless not being able to comfort anyone.

"Terrible. How could he do this to me Carlisle? I loved Bella as if she were my own sister," her tone went hard, "and then he _forced _me to promise not to look after her or interfere with her life anymore. How could he do that to _her_? She can't go one day without running into catastrophe! It's irresponsible of Edward to leave her like that," her words were hard, but undeniably true. Then her voice went soft again. "It saddens me to think that she won't last long without his or our protection. I feel guilty leaving her so unguarded. I feel so helpless Carlisle," the look Esme had in her eyes earlier was a mimic of Alice's. She went on in a helpless tone. "And I have to focus so hard _not_ to see her future. I'm already so attuned to her. And then Edward leaves. I can't even see where he is going. I hope he enjoys the misery that he has drowned us all in." The pout slipped back onto her lips and fury returned to her butterscotch eyes.

I could see where she was coming from, being so upset. But this will be ten times as hard for Edward as it is for the rest of us. "Don't wish such fortune onto Edward. This is just as hard for him as any of us. If not, harder. We all think of her as family, Alice. It will be hard all around." She looked up and gave a sarcastic glare.

"Okay, okay. Of course Rosalie might be an exception. But she is not here to prove so. I'm sorry for the strain that this inflicts on you Alice. I know it must be very difficult to not look after Bella. And whether or not this is the right decision, we will find out in time. But for now we can only hope that she is safe. Charlie will look after her and so will her other friends. She is surrounded by good people." I tried my hardest to reassure her. But I think I was mostly trying to reassure myself.

"Thank you for trying Carlisle. But I don't think anyone can really feel normal for a while. Bella is not someone who should be taken lightly. She can be driven to such extremes. Like last spring, when she wanted to save her mother. That was what she was determined to succeed in and she did. I don't know what will happen to her Carlisle. The possibilities are endless and terrifying. It makes me feel helpless that I can't see possible dangers to her." The wrinkle in her forehead signaled that she was annoyed disappeared, and was replaced with a sad look that was defined by the upward slanting of her eyebrows and was also a sign of distress.

"I agree with you that this will take quite some time to get over. If it is even possible. And I am aware that she puts others safety before her own. That is just her nature. But Edward is calling the shots on Bella. We shouldn't interfere with his decision-making. And you have other things to worry about. I'm pretty sure that Jasper is still pretty upset and hasn't yet forgiven himself for contributing to this decision. You should go with him up to see Tanya's clan up in Denali. That might help him through this mess." She should focus on getting Jasper to feel a little better rather than dwelling on what can't be altered. Advice, sadly, was all that I could give to her.

She sighed. "You're right. I should go with Jasper. I think he would like to visit Tanya, too. Thank you Carlisle." She leaned to give me a quick squeeze. I held her back. After a brief moment, we released. I got up off the bed and started to head back towards the door.

Then I whispered," And Alice?"

She looked confused by the look on my face, "Yes Carlisle?"

I looked at her with sad and guilty eyes. "You aren't the only one who feels helpless." I turned and shut the door.

* * *

**Business as Usual**

Empty weeks went by, and on the outside things were looking normal and as usual. Esme had finished renovating the inside of the house and decided to start planning the landscaping. Alice and Jasper were still in Denali. Jasper still didn't feel comfortable coming back yet. Alice tells me that he feels that he betrayed my faith in him. Of course I responded by saying, "What Edward did was by his decision making. You didn't have one word in it. And sometimes we slip Jasper. That is just one of the downsides to our lifestyle." Jasper has always been the one to struggle, before he joined our family, he had a very different lifestyle. And adjusting was very difficult for him. I have always accepted that he would need the most help enduring the unquenchable thirst.

Rosalie and Emmett decided to travel for another honeymoon. They are exploring all of Europe. Emmett informed me that Rosalie was having the time of her life, buying out all of the winter collections of designers he never even heard of. Emmett didn't particularly like shopping. But he never dared mentioned it to Rosalie. She would all but rip his head off if he complained. But he never did. But I wasn't sure if it was because he valued his life, or if he experience true joy watching Rosalie squeal happily over a dress she thought made her look good. Emmett enjoyed test-driving the fastest cars on the Autobahn in Germany. He informed me that he did most of the driving while Rosalie admired herself in the side-view mirrors.

I was teaching at Cornwall during the day and working nights at the hospital. I always kept myself busy to replace the useless feeling I felt in our now empty and dreary home. By teaching, I felt that sharing my knowledge would help the young adults who also want to make the same difference that I want to. And by working at the hospital, I could use my talent to help those that need my expertise. At home I spent most of my time helping Esme and her elaborate plan to turn the backyard into a rose garden with a large fountain in the center and a table for tea drinking (For guests, of course). And when I wasn't helping Esme, I was in my study, engaging myself in a good story.

Early one morning, I was placed in my study, reading a book on Henry VII and his six wives. It was very intriguing. Unfortunately I came 100 years after Henry, so I didn't get to truly experience his rule. But as I was intently reading, the phone rang.

I answered after the second ring. Humans take time to get to the phone rather than answering it the very millisecond that it rings.

"Hello?" I asked in a cheerful voice.

"Hi Carlisle. It's Alice." Her voice wasn't as lively as it was before the move, but there was definitely more life in it.

"Hello Alice! How are things in Denali? How is Tanya?" Tanya's coven was extended family to us. We were the few that could survive on a "vegetarian" diet. Only they did it for much more… feminine reasons.

"Things are white. It's pretty here. But I've seen it all before, and Tanya is doing great. But she is still a little mopey about Edward." She sighed. "But that's not why I called. I'm just calling to tell you that we are coming back," she informed me.

"That's wonderful Alice! Esme's spirits will be lifted when she hears that you're coming home. She missed you so much." I couldn't wait to see another one of Esme's smiles light up her face again.

"I'm sure she will. And um, I was also wondering if we could subscribe to the Daily Journal in Forks," she asked uncertainly and very hesitantly. As if she was suddenly unsure. "But only if you think that it's okay!" she added quickly. "I just still want to stay well informed about our, uh, old home" You could here in her voice that this was never her true intention.

"Oh, the newspaper? Sure. I should think that would be okay. I would like to stay informed as well. Forks can get pretty exciting during this time of year." And I meant it in more ways than one. I continued to play along. "Sure. Go ahead. Though Forks might get a little suspicious when outsiders want to know what's going on in their tiny town. So keep the subscription anonymous, okay?" We always wanted to avoid suspicion. If Bella found out anything about this…

"Thank you Carlisle! I'll see you in a couple of hours! Bye!" And the line went dead.

I noticed the difference in her voice towards the end of the phone-call. There was life in it. Before it was just a trace of what used to be, but now it was there. This would definitely calm our nerves if we new a little of what happened in our little home of Forks. And we would not be interfering. We would be merely observing.

We would definitely have to keep this quiet. Esme wouldn't want to take part in anything that would upset Edward. Rosalie would tattle on us and inform Edward. Emmett would tell Rosalie anything if she new he was hiding something. But Alice and I always had Bella on our conscience. We didn't always notice the shadow in the back of our minds, but it was always there to haunt us. This paper would help lower our level of insecurity.

I got up and stepped out of the study to give Esme the news. I walked downstairs to the living room where Esme was poached on the antique couch reading a magazine on interior design. I sat down next to her and gently placed an arm around her slim shoulders. She looked up at me and gave me a weak smile.

Maybe that smile will become real in a minute, I told myself. "That was Alice on the phone," a little more life was in her eyes when I mentioned Alice. "She and Jasper have decided to end their visit and return home. They will be here in several hours." I watched as her face slowly lit up. As her spirits lifted, the love for her began to fill me up. My silent heart felt as if it was going to leap out of my chest with joy.

The smile became less strained. "That's wonderful! I've missed them so much. I will be nice having more of us in the house again. When did you say they were coming?" She turned and put her magazine on the side table. "Couple of hours? Well, I guess I better do some shopping research before they get here. The shopping in Alaska doesn't exactly meet Alice's standards. She will need to see every new line that came out. You and Jasper should go hunting. He might be thirsty. And even if he isn't, you should have some one-on-one time. You don't exactly have the time that Alice and I spend shopping together. And Alice can help me with…" As Esme continued about her plans of Alice and Jasper's return, I listened with a smile on my face the whole time. Nothing made me happier than watching Esme smile and be happy.

Alice and Jasper returned in the late evening. We spent a couple of hours at home. We chatted lively about Tanya, Irina, and the rest of the clan. Jasper looked slightly uncomfortable, and I realized that he must be thirsty.

As it turns out, Alice was itching to go shopping with Esme. Jasper rolled his eyes at her sincere request, and Alice glared back. But Esme had done her homework and gave Alice the news on this season's newest looks. And Alice agreed to accompany Esme in her hunt for a fountain to put in the rose garden.

And as Esme planned, Jasper and I went hunting. He was struggling with his thirst. This wasn't out of the norm.

We sprinted west of Ithaca. Where the forests were plentiful in wildlife and deer and various animals. Jasper teased a doe. I chastised him in treating the animals with more compassion, and to quit playing with his food. I was just thankful he wasn't like Alice in his eating habits. Alice terrified her prey by moving in the direction they were thinking of going before they took one step. Her prey all but collapsed of shock when she was in a playful mood. I laughed at the thought.

After somewhat satisfying our thirst, we decided to sit down, have a break, and talk for a bit. I was in no hurry. I took two days off so I could spend time with my family. And Jasper looked like he had a lot on his plate with Alice.

We found a suitable spot, a fallen tree, and sat down in silence.

Jasper was the first to speak.

"Alice subscribed," Jasper informed me in a disapproving tone.

I sighed. Of course he would know. "I knew she wouldn't be able to keep it from you. And I know that you disapprove, but it's the only way to satisfy the raging curiosity and worry that we feel without interfering and angering Edward. Alice loves Bella too much to just let her go." He already knew this, but I needed to remind him how hard it was for the ones who were deeply involved with Bella. And those who had a strong emotional bond. I was always Bella's confidante. She trusted me with her worries. And she trusted my judgment and advice. I guess that is betrayed now.

Jasper let out a sigh of his own, except his was in defeat. "I know. She is always so troubled. I don't understand why, though. I like the idea of Bella as a sister just as much as Emmett did. Of course, I would never compare my need for her to Alice's. But she is always concerned. Every day I could feel her emotions climb up and down with her wild range of thoughts. I'm guessing that she's thinking of al the dangers Bella could encounter." I'd say that's a safe assumption. He continued, "She concealed her worry from Tanya and everyone, but I can always feel her growing tension. It's like the longer she's away from her the harder it gets to ignore her future. The temptation is so hard for her to resist right now. I help as much as I can, but every time I try, she gets mad. At her or at me, I don't know. Either way, she isn't happy. I feel so helpless Carlisle." He placed his ashamed face in the palms of his hands and shook his face back and forth.

He had no need to feel ashamed. "Jasper, you shouldn't feel so guilty or ashamed. None of this is your fault. You're trying your best to comfort Alice. Just like I'm doing for her and Esme." We were both trying our best to make the ones we love to feel better. And we both felt as if we were failing. "She loves Bella just as much as Edward does. She can't help it, and neither cans I. That's why we couldn't just stand and ignore her safety. But you mustn't tell Edward. He would be furious. He would all but tear us to shreds if he found out. Please promise that you won't tell him." I knew I had no right to ask this of him, but I was running low on options.

He lifted his head from his hands with his eyes clenched closed with frustration. "I promise I will not speak to Edward of this," he recited, "I doubt we will even speak at all for a long while. Has he even called?" I shook my head in disappointment. "That's what I thought. It won't exactly be a hard promise to keep." I gave him a sympathetic look. Then we both gazed out into the dimming forest light.

That was the last we spoke of the subject.

Nothing was really new in Forks. It was December. Announcements were made on winter break, and small festivals were being held. The rest of the paper was filled with coupons for Christmas lights at the local hardware store. I was slightly disappointed. I wanted to read the paper and see something worthwhile. But Bella didn't really do anything to wind up in the paper. Or at least I hoped not. She was the kind of person who avoided any and all publicity. I could imagine her face redden and tears of anger rolling down her puffed up cheeks as she read an article where her clumsiness was the star attraction. A small giggle escaped my lips at the thought. Jasper looked up from his thick novella and eyed me speculatively.

But I started to bring back memories of her. Her laugh, the annoyed look on her face every time Edward did something better than anyone. It irritated her to no end. She never got used to Edward trying to impress her. I remembered her scarlet cheeks when Edward commented on her, the way she stared at him with so much love when they were sitting at the piano together. How they would gaze at each other for the longest time and not say a word. No words were meant to be spoken.

Their love reminded me of Esme and I. How whenever we looked at each other; it was like gazing at the sun for the first time. And to us, it seemed that way. When one of our kind experiences change, it is permanent. There is no going back. And to attain love and give it in return was a permanent change. I had a feeling that this didn't only apply to vampires. I had a feeling that humans felt that change, too.

And that's what worried me about Bella. Could she get over something like this? Was it in her nature to get over something so traumatizing? Could she ever recover from such a harsh blow? These were questions I had the answers to, but I didn't want them.

* * *

**Tracking**

It was nearing the end of December. The roads were slick with ice and car accidents were nothing unusual. I was working double shifts at the hospital so they wouldn't run low on staff. And if they ever did, I could work fast. Working double shifts wasn't much to me. I didn't need sleep, bathroom breaks, or meal breaks. This was part of the upside of being a vampire: no mundane human needs. I cared for the critically injured as best as I could, but D.O.T.S (hospital term for "dead on the scene") were sometimes unavoidable. I succeeded in healing the ones that came off the scene with their hearts barely beating, but those who's hearts weren't beating had no hope.

Every day that we lost somebody, I came home in a saddened state. But my family was always there to comfort me when I need to be comforted. I was grateful for my family. When I got home from the hospital, they always greeted me with warm smiles, hugs, and idle chatter. Sometimes, I forgot about what happened at the hospital and focused on how happy my family was.

Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Esme were all home. Rosalie and Emmett sometimes went to their weekend home that Esme had renovated for them, but they spent most of the time at the main house. They were as happy as possible without Edward and Bella with us. Rosalie sometimes looked annoyed, but I could never figure out why.

Occasionally I would catch Esme by herself, sitting at the small table in the guest bedroom, staring out the tall windows into the completed rose garden. The roses, as she puts it, only sleeping. And sometimes when she was oblivious to my presence, I would catch her talking to herself. One day after I got back from the hospital, I found her in the room in her usual spot. She was gazing absentmindedly into the "sleeping" garden. Then she whispered, "I wonder where Edward is. I'm sure wherever he is, that he will be missing Bella. I wonder how she has faired without him…I hope they are both happy." I felt my silent heart drop to the floor. She still wasn't happy. Her family wasn't complete without Edward and Bella. I made a little noise in my step to catch her attention; she turned and gazed at me. A tired smile appeared on her lips. I gazed at her as I walked over and sat across the table from her. I'm not sure if she new I was there while she was speaking to herself, but she gave me an apologetic smile. I tried to prevent a frown from appearing on my face so I wouldn't upset her. Instead I took one of her hands in mine, clenched my eyes closed, kissed her hand and held it to my cheek. I rested my head there for a long moment, opened my eyes, and saw her gazing back at me. I felt as helpless as ever. And yet she still smiled at me with all her love.

I asked Alice or Rosalie to sit with her in the afternoons from now on. I asked them to entertain her. But Emmett had the entertainment portion of the day covered. Alice always had Jasper with her to help with Esme. Sometimes she hid her sadness so well. Alice was always unsure, so she had Jasper come to see if they were really making her happy, or if she was faking it for the sake of other's happiness.

One early morning, I was sitting in the large burgundy leather chair at my antique mahogany desk in my study, gazing at my wall of paintings. I began to reminiscence again. I gazed at the smaller painting of a small group of men; the Volturi. I stayed with them for a couple of decades, but I decided to explore a new territory across the Atlantic Ocean called America. Aro, Marcus and the others were never fully supportive of my diet. They always thought I would cave. Not once did I give in. I hardly notice the smell anymore.

I decided to settle in Chicago. Occasional sunny days kept me hidden in the shadows or indoors until evening came around. During the epidemic of the Spanish Influenza, I felt useless sitting indoors while people were dying. It was there in Chicago during the year 1918, that Elizabeth Mason convinced me to save her son and cure my loneliness.

The phone ringing interrupted my reminiscing. I wondered for a fraction of a second, _who would be calling at two in the morning? _I glanced at the number and immediately picked up.

"Edward?" Relief was heavy in my voice.

"Carlisle." Edwards voice was almost…stern.

"Edward!" I repeated a little louder. Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett were all in the room now. "Where are you? How are you?" I asked excitedly.

"I'm in Texas and I'm fine. But I found out what I need to do. What I can do for Bella…" his voice trailed off. What could he possibly do for Bella in Texas? She was in Forks.

"I found Victoria's scent and I'm going to try and track her. I am going to rid Bella of the dangers of our kind…" You could tell that Bella was a very difficult topic for Edward to talk about. "I'm sorry but I don't have long to talk, so could you do me a favor?" Anxious and curious glances surrounded me.

"Of course, Edward. Anything you need." Since he can't talk to everyone, he will probably ask me to deliver messages. My theory was proved correct.

"Tell everyone that I said 'merry Christmas', for me. I don't think I'll be able to call again for a while. Tell them I love them and I'll come home as soon as I'm finished. And…" there was a momentary pause," tell Esme I'm sorry, and that I miss her very much. I'm sure she's not very happy with me right now. Is that okay?"

He needn't ask. "Yes. I will pass that along. Just take care of yourself. Be careful and come home soon. We all miss you." I wasn't sure about Rosalie, but whenever she saw Esme upset, she looked very annoyed.

Edward let out a humorless laugh. "I'm sure Rosalie is heartbroken," he let out another laugh. Rosalie scowled. "Thank you Carlisle. I have to go now. Good bye." _Click._ Esme had a sparkle in her eyes. Jasper's expression was unreadable. Alice looked a little apprehensive, probably in his choice of activity. Rosalie maintained the scowl on her face while Emmett retrained giggles. I shared Esme's expression.

"Edward says he misses us. He is well and in Texas. He apologizes for not keeping in touch. Though I'm sure you probably heard the rest." They all nodded short quick nods. We all seemed relieved and concerned at the same time.

* * *

**Christmas Wishes**

Christmas was fast approaching. Alice helped Esme decorate the house with wreaths, candles, and missile toe. Emmett took advantage of the missile-toe with Rosalie all the time. Rosalie didn't mind one bit. But occasionally you would hear her complain, "Watch the hair!" Emmett would just laugh at her. We had a real Christmas tree set up in the formal living room, Esme's favorite room in the house. The tree stood just a little over 12 feet. Emmett did her the favor of cutting it down. The decorations were elaborate. There was a large, extravagant bronze and gold bow at the top. The colors of the ribbon matched that of the room. The ribbon came down the tree in little hills all the way down. The ornaments matched the color scheme appropriately. The tree was filled with several different shades of gold and brown. Plastic glittery gold flowers created filling for the tree. Esme never did things halfway when it came to decorating. And to finish it off, several strings of lights circled around the tree to make it glow. Esme looked pleased with the finished product.

Esme had Jasper and Emmett decorate the outside. Esme kept them busy stringing lights from trees, moving the lighted deer made of straw with red ribbon rimmed with gold trim wrapped around their necks. But occasionally Jasper would make a comment on how appallingly delicious the fake deer looked, and an intense and vigorous snowball fight would commence. Esme always chided them to keep it light and not so aggressive. Emmett always whined and complained like a child with a, "but Esme!" when she ordered the fight to cease. His childish ways left us trilling in laughter.

It was a cheerful time. We were almost always in high spirits. Of course, with Emmett and Jasper being the comedians, how could we not? Alice observed a fierce snowball fight in the forest during a hunt one day. Esme was gently chiding them to take it easy when Alice said, "nothing can stop the Dynamic Duo once they initiate themselves into battle." Emmett immediately stopped the fight.

"Aw, c'mon! We fight like pros! You've gotta come up with a better name than _"The Dynamic Duo"_! I mean seriously! You have _got _to be more creative than that!" His sincere disappointment brought on hysterics by the rest of us while his lips slipped into a childish pout.

All in all it was a happy time.

Christmas day finally came around. Jasper had given Alice a silver pendant of the Cullen insignia attached to a delicate, black silk ribbon. To reciprocate the thoughtful gift, she presented a new way of travel with a sleek, silver Ducati motorbike. He was very enthusiastic when he looked at the speedometer.

Rosalie and Emmett exchanged gifts as well. Theirs were more of inside jokes though. Emmett lavished Rose with hair products with French labels on it. Rosalie and her hair. Rose's gift to Emmett was small, but nothing could amuse him more. She presented him with a tissue-papered wrapped gift with silver ribbon. He opened it and let out a roar of laughter. A few giggles escaped from Rosalie. He held up his gift for us to see. It was a t-shirt with a bear-slash that stretched from the left shoulder to the right hip. Then everyone started to laugh.

Esme and I never exchanged gifts. All we needed was each other and to see our family happy. But Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie never left us out of the gift exchange. Esme received several thick volumes on English tea gardens, a famous painting by Degas named, "Clase de Danse" or "The Dance Class", and a couple of gowns from Rosalie. I accepted a new brief case, a new stethoscope with my name engraved on it, and a couple of new business suits from the girls.

In the evening, we went out to have our version of a Christmas feast. Emmett managed to hunt down a grizzly, the girls settled on dear, while Jasper and I were lucky enough to find a couple of mountain lions. We were not injudicious with our hunting habits, so the hunt did not last long.

When we got back to the house, we went our separate ways to try out our gifts. Esme remained in the living room, Jasper took Alice for a ride on his new motorcycle, and Emmett and Rosalie decided they needed some…time in private.

I retreated to my study. As I walked in I discovered a recent edition of _The Daily Journal_ from forks. I slowly sat down at the desk and picked up the paper to start reading. I didn't get very far down the page before I had my eyes glued. The main article read:

A Christmas Wish

An Article written by Wesley Grange

As we all sit down near our Christmas trees being warmed by the fire, opening and exploring our new gifts, gouging ourselves in Christmas feasts, and celebrating merrily surrounded by the ones we hold dear, a family suffers for an ill loved one as the time drags on miserably.

This Christmas, a young patient (her name will not be disclosed for privacy concerns) lies in a hospital bed in a deep sleep. No Christmas feast, no happy gift exchanges. The only exchanges are words said in prayer.

This young girl came from a good family. Both of her parents held respectable and highly honorable jobs, she did well in school, made friends easily, but was an essentially shy person. She always put others before herself. She was as selfless as a person could possibly be. She flew into a fury if someone ever dared bought her a gift. Heaven forbid that anyone buy her a gift under any circumstances. She has never asked for anything.

But this Christmas, the family has something to ask of. They want to give her something that could be of good value to her. Something that she wants and truly needs.

"We would like to ask for Dr. Carlisle Cullen," implores patient's mother. "He is an excellent doctor and I truly think he could help out daughter. And her father agrees that he can give all he has to save her and more. She needs him to help her. And we need him to do all he can to save our daughter from this illness."

Doctors don't know what is wrong with the patient. They claim that she is physically stable and…

The article went on about how the patient's statistics were nonsensical and how they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her, how they think her psychological state is what's causing the problem.

They needed my help. The urge to get up and leave immediately had to be restrained. It almost hurt to ignore this desperate calling. I couldn't just leave this call unanswered. It would be beyond cruel. Life is too precious to just let it go to waste by some inexperienced doctors who are having a tough time figuring out a diagnosis. It was morally wrong to leave a young, endangered life in the hands of people who don't have a single idea as to what needs to be done. It was cynical.

I resolved on calling the given information. I picked up the phone and dialed. I patiently, yet impatiently, waited for someone to pick up the phone. It rang three times before a secretary answered the phone.

"Forks Community Hospital, this is Wendy, how may I help you?" Answered a soft, friendly voice.

"Yes, I would like to speak with Doctor Gerandy if you please." I asked politely.

"Doctor Gerandy? Just one moment." The line went silent. I remembered the system. She had to page him. A minute went by and someone finally answered.

"Dr. Gerandy here," he said in a tire, hoarse voice.

"George? This is Carlisle Cullen. I was informed that there was a patient stationed in the hospital that needed my assistance?" I turned it into a question to make it sound like I hardly new a thing. I wanted to keep it light and inconspicuous.

"Carlisle! Oh, thank God you found out. We really need you here. I'm embarrassed to say that we are not equipped to handle this type of situation. We've never had a case like this one. We've tried so many tests, but nothing turns up." He exclaimed in frustration.

"Is she in a coma?" If she is, then maybe we could try putting her in a pressure chamber if the problem is from carbon monoxide poisoning. It's a common way to slip into a coma. But I sincerely doubt that carbon monoxide poisoning is the problem.

"…We think so. A blood test was the first thing we tried, just in case she sucked in some type of poisonous gas. But it came up clean, like everything else." He sighed.

"How long has it been?" If it's been more than two months without response to medication…

"A little over two months," he admitted regretfully. He understood what this meant.

Knowing this, saving this patient became a vain hope. If the condition of a patient doesn't change after several doses of medicine over a two months period, it would normally be diagnosed as a terminal coma. In spite of this, I still have to try. Some people have spent two _years_ in a terminal coma and have come back. This case shouldn't be any different, right?

"It was towards the end of September that her father rushed her here. But its like she _knows_ what's happening and she just doesn't want to wake up. Its like trying to get a kid up for school, except on a much larger magnitude."

And so the fog begins to lift. This is clearly psychological. Maybe I can fix this after all.

"I can be there in 36 hours." I say with confidence.

"That would be wonderful Carlisle-" I couldn't take risks.

I interrupted. "I would really appreciate keeping this interaction quiet. I can't have Forks knowing I'm there. It would…" I caught myself. I was going to say, _It would cause Bella to have a neurological breakdown if she new that I came and left without her knowing. _So instead, "…Stir a little trouble with some families." I hoped he wouldn't question me.

Lucky for me, he didn't. "Uh, sure Carlisle," he said uncertainly, "anything to get you here." He said with absolute certainty.

"I'll hold you to that. I'll see you soon." Just as I hung up, Alice walked into the room. She had "If you're going, you can be sure as hell I'm going, too" written all over.

"I'm coming." She said simply.

"I don't think that would be wise." I exclaimed, contradicting her.

"I don't see how it could. He said he would keep it quiet." Her determination was reflected in her fierce eyes.

"I don't know the condition of the patient. And I also don't know how long I will be gone. But if anything happens with…" I couldn't finish.

There was a long pause before I continued.

"If anything happens, I will inform you first. And if need arises, I will send for you. I promise you, Alice, that you will not be kept in the dark this time." She knew what I was referring to. And my promises were solid.

She seemed to process this for a moment. "Fine. I will hold to your promise tightly. I'm not happy about this." I could relate.

"I'm not either. If I had it my way, this would be our trip to move back. But this is all Edward. I can only make that decision when he gives the "okay". But until then, this is a one-manned trip." I gave her a sympathetic glance.

"Fine. I guess I'll see you when you get back. Or when my assistance is needed." She had a hopeful look.

"I guess I will." I got up out of the chair and escorted out and down into the living room.

Here I found Rosalie and Emmett in the love seat, and Jasper with his arm wrapped around Esme on the couch. Jasper raised his eyebrows as he assessed Alice's mood. She was pouting like a child now.

"Carlisle has something to say." Alice said cheerfully. Revenge I'm guessing. I didn't want to explain this until I actually had to leave. She went and plopped a seat next to Jasper. If he was speculative five seconds ago, it all but disappeared into confusion with Alice's mood.

I sighed in defeat while Alice smiled ruefully. Everyone's eyes were on me.

"I have discovered there is a patient that needs my medical assistance," I started. Alice glared at me as she observed my evasions. If I didn't tell them where I was going, I'd never get out of here. I sighed again. Alice looked pleased. "The patient lies in Forks," I heard small intakes of breath from everyone except Alice. I kept going as if I hadn't heard anything. "There is no need to worry. Dr. Gerandy just needs my assistance and has agreed to keep this matter under wraps. Nobody will know of my coming or going except him and the family of the patient." Even with the promise of secrecy, they still looked unstable.

"Are you sure, Carlisle?" Esme didn't like me leaving under any circumstances. It was one thing for a child to go on an extended vacation. It's another one when it's your soul and other half.

"I'm sure. Nothing will go wrong. She won't even notice I'm there. I promise." As Esme continued to stare at me with her deep, concerned butterscotch eyes, I began to wonder whether or not I made the right promise.

After our small family meeting, I decided to work a shift at the hospital.

I didn't need to. It was Christmas. Nobody would really be out anywhere finding trouble. It was soothing. I did have one emergency patient. A young man, probably in his early thirties, tall, light, curly blond hair cut short. He looked in great physical shape. With him was a little girl. She looked to be about five years of age, bronze colored curls framed her heart shaped face.

"Is this your daughter?" I asked while I was stitching him up. The little girl was holding his other hand. Her eyes were intent on his face with concern.

He let out a giggle. "Yeah. This is my little angel," she smiled as he gazed at her. "She was in tears when she saw my hand. She insisted on coming here with me even though she still hasn't opened her presents." Her cheeks turned a little pink, but kept her face on her father's.

"You're more important than a silly present. Daddy. If I wasn't here you would have cried when da doctor stuck you wid that needle and thread." We both laughed at that.

"You have got a lovely little girl." I commented the father.

"She's no little girl," he lets out a laugh. "She's more mature than some 21 year olds I know…Do you have a family Dr. Cullen?" He asked all of a sudden.

I smiled and said, "Yes I do. I have a wife and kids." I didn't say how many because of what people thought my age was.

"That's nice." He glanced down at his daughter, who was still holding his un-bandaged hand. "Do you have one as selfless as mine?" He laughed.

I thought about it for a moment. "Yes. Yes I do. Her name is Bella."


	2. More Than I Bargained For

**More Than I Bargained For More Than I Bargained For

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******

After my short shift, I decided to hit the road. Forks was on the other side of the country. I sped at inhuman speeds on the highway. My lights were off, and the midnight black of my Mercedes made me virtually invisible.

It is part of my nature to save people. Even when I was a newborn, I couldn't even _think_ about human blood. I was a monster. A wild animal that couldn't be tamed. Weakness and desperation led me to a new way of life a way of life that doesn't involve being a true monster. Feeding off of animals was easier for me to accept rather than feasting off of humans. I discovered that my passion was saving human lives. I got over my thirst for human blood and became skillful in what I took seriously.

When a human needed my medical attention, they got it. For me, it's almost like a pull to my body. And resisting that pull was almost painful. So eventually I stopped resisting and gave people what they needed. And if my efforts succeeded, I always felt as I could be flying. It is such a gratifying feeling to know that people can be saved by your 300 years of experience. But sometimes its not about the long names for diagnosis's and medical terms. Sometimes it's logic that can save a patient.

This case was curious. Something extremely _tragic _must have happened to this patient. If she totally shut herself away from the world on purpose to avoid what was hurting her so deeply, she must have lost a part of her that couldn't be replaced. I know I would be the same way if I lost Esme.

I raced with the sun from the east to the west. It was a little before sunrise that I found myself speeding into Forks. I slowed down as the light returned to the sky. But I still traveled over the speed limit. A patient's life was slipping away and I couldn't just take my time because it's more convenient. It was morally wrong.

I pulled into the Forks Community Hospital at 5:30 a.m. The second day after Christmas. There were few cars in the parking lot. There might be two doctors, a couple of nurses, and a secretary running the registration desk. I pulled into my usual spot. Or what used to be my usual spot. I cut the engine the moment I parked. I walked briskly to the entrance and slid through the seemingly slow sliding doors. I quickly walked over to the registration desk and accosted the bored, tired secretary.

"Good morning," I said pleasantly.

Her eyes flashed opened and she nearly jumped out of her chair. "Oh," she readjusted herself in her seat, "good morning to you sir, how may I help you?"

"I am looking for Doctor Gerandy. I need to see him straight away." I was calm, but urgent.

"Dr. Gerandy? Of course, just one moment-" She was cut off when Dr. Gerandy strode in from the recovering wing of the hospital.

"Oh! Wonderful. You're here. I'm so glad you made it here so quickly." He walked quickly over to me. I took his hand firmly in mine and shook it.

"Of course. I wanted to help as soon as I could. I wanted to spend some time with my family though. Now," time to see the patient, "where is the girl?"

He turned and said over his shoulder, "Follow me."

We walked back through the swinging doors to the recovering wing of the hospital. It was very nostalgic. As I walked through the long hallway, I remembered some of the patients I took care of. I remembered was pulled in here on a stretcher with a neck brace. She was so embarrassed. I discovered her recovered head injuries. But Tyler Crowley was in worse shape than Bella was after that accident. Though she would've been worse than Mr. Crowley if Edward hadn't acted as he did. She would've been dead.

We stopped at one of the rooms on the farther end. He grabbed the statistics folder and slowly opened the door and peaked around the corner, as if he was unsure of something. He looked as if he could've woken a baby after it had just gone to sleep.

"Okay. I just had to see if her father was here. He usually leaves early for his job though. But we can go in. Though I was rather hoping he would be here to see you. Apparently there's a lot to talk about with the family." That's true. If worse comes to worse, I will have to take her back to Ithaca with me.

We walked in slowly. The white curtain was pulled back. The window had left over snow on the outside sill. There was a cot in the corner with the best view of the T.V. The pale green walls were slightly inappropriate for a hospital. The color sometimes had resembled the color of a patients face if he or she was sick. Which is exactly what I felt like when I looked at who was lying in the bed, attached to the life support, heart monitor, and IV machine. I felt my silent heart drop all the way to my feet. I wanted to crumble to the floor.

The familiar rich, dark, mahogany hair, combed neatly on the lumpy pillow, the skin that was as pale as mine, covered waist down with heavy blankets. If my heart were still beating, it would've stopped. I let out a strained whisper.

"Bella," It was inaudible to human ears. She was so still. The heartbeats seemed to fade away all together as I stared at her still, white figure. This was _exactly_ what Edward was trying to avoid. This was our worst nightmare.

I walked slowly over to her bed. I brushed away the stray hairs on her forehead and tucked them behind her ear. I had completely forgotten Dr. Gerandy in the room with me until he started to talk about Charlie and Renee.

"Charlie spends nights here. He comes here straight from the station. I don't know how he can live off of hospital food when _I_ can barely tolerate it for lunch," he let out a strained laugh. "Renee came for a couple of weeks. But she had to return to Florida when her new husband got injured playing baseball. She was a wreck for the duration of her stay. I think it's a good thing that she got out of here. She might have had to be sent to an asylum for her hysterics." He let out a deep sigh. My eyes never left Bella.

"What happened?" I asked so quietly, he lent in to hear.

He let out another sigh. "I don't know. I took a look at her after that Sam Uley boy found her in the woods," woods? What happened in the woods? "She just seemed really dazed. She was definitely focused on something that wasn't present. Her eyes were real glossy and unfocused. She might have caught a small cold from spending most of the afternoon and night lying in the rain in the woods, but I didn't know it was possible for it to lead to _this._ All she said for a really long time was, 'he's gone'. She didn't say anything else until we brought her back to the house. Then she started to come to, but wasn't all there." He paused for a moment. My curiosity got the best of me.

"What happened in the woods? When did this happen?" I couldn't help but ask, but I had a feeling I already knew the answer. Even though I really didn't want to.

"I think it was a couple of days after you left, Carlisle. Charlie called her in missing after it got dark. She went out for a walk. I gues she must have gotten lost and tripped and hit her head. I guess that's why she was on the brink of unconsciousness when Sam returned with her. She could barely lift her head. But it was a good thing that Sam Uley was there. Good kid. It was deep in the woods, too. It was amazing that he even found her. It was so dark and rainy." Guilt shot through me like a lightening bolt. It didn't take long for me to piece together the clues. Edward took her out for a walk. He told her that we were leaving, said goodbye, and she tried to follow his non-existent trail. This girl was extraordinary.

"I don't know what I can do for her here. I don't have the equipment necessary to take a closer look at the problem,"I didn't need a closer look. But she needed to be elsewhere. "I need to speak with Charlie and see what he thinks about me treating her in Los Angeles. The hospital has everything I need and several specialists that could help her. She just might pull through if I take her." It was not hard to convince him that this was the right thing to do. NO one here questioned my judgement.

I turned to face Dr. Gerandy for the first time in a couple of minutes. He nodded in agreement. "Charlie usually gets here around 12 for his lunch break. Then he comes back around five and stays for the night. He entertains himself by watching the sports channel most of the time. I can't imagine him not going along with your plan. The guy is so desperate to save her. She's his only family." He shook his head.

I turned back to Bella. Still lying as still as a statue.

I had a strange impulse to speak with her. "Excuse my asking, but could you leave the room please? I just want to examine her alone." I didn't want to impose any objection I had towards him, so I put it as gently as I could.

He seemed to understand. He just nodded and said, "Of course." Then he turned around and left the room.

I continued to gaze at Bella. My eyes were stinging a little bit. I felt like I was crying.

"Bella, what have I done? I knew this was the wrong thing to do. So why didn't I stop this? I could have. I shouldn't have destroyed you like this. I'm so sorry Bella. I shouldn't have let Edward have his way this time. He should've known this is how you would react. But every time I brought up the dangers of leaving, and the dangers you faced on a daily basis, he would just say, 'Bella promised…" Edward would be shattered if he saw you like this. But I think he needs to see this. To see that this obscene decision to leave was a mistake. I think him seeing you would bring an end to this mess. He just might be the cure, too. I think it's the only way to make sure this never happens again," I caressed her expressionless, pale face. Remembering how her cheeks used to turn a deep scarlet. "Edward will be upset, but not nearly as upset as he would if he saw you dead—" I couldn't bear the thought. So I cut it off.

I don't know how long I stood there for, but the next thing I knew I heard footsteps heading towards the room. They were heavy, sluggish, footsteps. I looked at the clock on the wall opposite of the bed. It was 12:15. I deduced that it was Charlie coming back on his lunch break. Had I really let so much time pass?

The footsteps reached the room and Charlie opened the door. Charlie looked tired. The bruises under his eyes were so purple, they almost looked black. His shoulders were hunched over; probably from exhaustion. And his hair looked disarrayed, the longer-than-normal curls were wild on top of his head. But his eyes had life to them now. His eyes were glistening with tears. He clenched his eyes closed and laid his head back. You could tell that he was flying. I couldn't read minds like Edward, but this emotion was plain on the broken man's face.

"Hello, Charlie," I decided to be the first to speak. It looked to me that he needed a moment to collect himself.

He opened his eyes and walked, more like ran over, to take my hand and shake it. It was like he was reassuring that I was actually here, and not just a dream.

"Thank you for coming Carlisle," his voice was thick with tears of relief. He dropped my hand. "She needs you real bad. Have you taken a look at her yet?" He asked warily. His chocolate eyes gazed at me with hope. For a moment I thought I was looking into Bella's eyes. He turned to look at her.

"Yes. I have." I didn't want to go into detail about _why_ she was like this.

He looked as if he was waiting for more. I was hoping to avoid this. "Well, what's wrong with her?"

I needed to make something up quick, so I opened up the statistics folder Dr. Gerandy left on the eating table.

I found what I needed.

"It looks as if the brain stopped receiving the proper nutrients that it needs to function. Her sugar levels were low when you brought her here. My theory is that the brain doesn't have the energy required to work at a normal pace," I saw worry flash across his face. "Her brain is still working," I reassured him, "it's just working at a slower than normal pace. And to do the simplest of actions, such as moving a hand or blinking an eye, the brain would be working over time. And having traces of carbon monoxide in her system doesn't help either."

He was still looking at her when he asked, "So what are your suggestions for treatment?" He asked quietly.

I put on an honest face. "Well, I don't have the equipment necessary to treat her here. I thought if we put her in a compression chamber and got rid of the traces of carbon monoxide, she might gain enough strength to open her eyes. But I don't want her under anybody else's care right now. Not even Dr. Gerandy knew what to do, and he is a very intelligent man," just less experienced than I. As well as any other doctor. "So I was wondering if I may have your permission to move her to my hospital in Los Angeles. They have all I need and more and they have several specialists that could help her. But it would be next to impossible to treat her here. I truly believe that if you give me some time with her, she will come through this in flying colors." I didn't know if he would let his daughter out from his grasp, especially near new years, but I didn't think he would pass up the opportunity to get her better either,

His decision came quickly. "Of course Carlisle! Whatever you need to do, whatever can help her, just do it." He was holding back the tears.

I nodded. "Thank you. I will need to make flight arrangements, but I'm pretty sure I can get her out of here by tomorrow morning." I might need Alice or Jasper's to help me there.

He let out a shaky side. "Okay." He walked over to Bella a brushed the back of his hand over her forehead.

Bella wasn't the only one who needed help. "Charlie, I know this is very difficult for you. So if I may make a suggestion," I waited for him to turn back to me. "Go home. Go to work. You should visit your friends down at La Push. I'm sure they can help you through this. You can go and watch the games at Billy's instead of in an unenthusiastic hospital. You would be in better spirits if the ones around you were." He needed a friend, company at the very least.

I gestured him to the door so we could speak out in the hall. And I'm pretty sure he needed to be back at the station in a couple of minutes. He nodded, took one last glance at Bella, and turned to walk out the door.

I shut the door behind us. Charlie looked like he had something to say.

"What is it Charlie?" He looked almost embarrassed.

"Well, I appreciate all you are doing for Bella, but there is a matter of medical bills…"

I widened my eyes in alarm. "Please! Don't worry of such a thing. I will cover the expenses." I didn't want to ruin his blissful mood by admitting that this was partially my fault.

"I will take care of her Charlie. But I would really appreciate it if you kept this exchange quiet. I don't want anyone else to know that I was here. What do Bella's friends know about this?" If her friends knew they would probably wonder where she had gone if she wasn't in the hospital.

"I informed the school. But I had them tell the students she moved back with her mother. I didn't want them to know. They already thought she was a zombie by the way she acted. They kept calling and Bella kept on not answering. And soon, they just stopped calling. I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't any talk of her at all." He ended in a helpless tone.

Once again, curiosity hit me.

"What happened after we left Charlie?" I asked very quietly.

He sat down in one of the chairs outside the room and put his face in his hands. I took the seat next to him.

After I brought her home from the woods, she was just really dazed. Like she was focusing on something that wasn't even there. Then she went to go to sleep. For a week she didn't do anything. She didn't move, didn't eat or drink, and didn't talk. Dr. Gerandy threw around words like 'catatonic', but I didn't let him up to see Bella. I thought he would scare her. But for a week she did this. I tried waking her up after a week, and no matter what I did, she just wouldn't wake up. So I brought her here. They kept saying that she would wake up soon if she was hydrated and had some sugar in her, but nothing has worked. Renee wanted to do what she called a 'shout-out' to you. She saw what you did for Bella in Phoenix and thought that you could help. I guess she was right."

I absorbed this for a moment. She was in so much pain, she didn't want to wake up. She couldn't bare the thought of waking up with Edward gone. It was a living nightmare to her. Dreams only existed to her in her sleep.

But then I thought of Renee. She would need to know about this. I pulled out a sheet of paper from my brief case and a pen. I wrote down my cell number and house number. Keeping her at the hospital would be pointless. Nothing there could help her.

"Here is my cell and the hospital's number. If you need anything, just call either of these. You should probably tell Renee. She will want to know. But in the meantime, I think you should get back to work." I nodded towards the clock above the entrance to the hall.

He let out a deep sigh. "I guess I should. I will come back tonight to say goodbye." We stood up and started walking out towards the waiting room.

When we were out, the waiting room was still empty.

Charlie was heading out when I said, "And Charlie," he turned back to face me. "She will be on her way by tomorrow morning. I promise you she will be safe. I will do my best to take care of her."

His eyes were grateful. He nodded and continued out the door.

The moment he was out I headed back to Bella's room. I needed to make a phone call.

I walked into the room, pulled out my cell, and immediately started dialing. The phone rang once.

"Hello? Carlisle?" Alice's voice chimed worriedly.

"Alice," I started, "It's Bella."


	3. Flight

**Sorry it took me so long to update guys! But I was working from a rough draft and had to expand it. So I hope you guys enjoy the sixth enstallment to Alternate New Moon! _PLEASE REVIEW! _When I receive 10 reviews, I will add Edward's perspective. I hope the curiosity encourages you to review.**

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**Chapter 6. Flight**

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"Bella?" Alice whispered. Despair was replete in the one word.

Five minutes after I said the name, and she responded with one word.

"Yes. Bella is the patient Alice. She is in bad condition right now. And I need you to do me a favor," I spoke in a rush, hoping that Alice had pulled out of her shock and could comprehend what I was asking of her.

"Anything Carlisle! What do you need?" She asked feverently and in a rush.

My words flew out quickly. "I need you or Jasper to fly the medical transport to Forks Community Hospital. But I don't want to take her to the hospital. She is going to stay with us in Ithaca. What she needs is not at the hospital." What started out as somewhat loud and rushed came to an end slow and quietly.

There was a short pause. I could hear footsteps on the other line; most likely it was Jasper.

"Jasper and I will be there tomorrow morning. It may take some convincing to get the medical transport in our hands…" she sounded unsure of herself, but she was always scrupulous when it came to things she wanted or really needed.

I let out a small giggle. "You wouldn't let something as small as a couple of doctors stop you from a mission, would you Alice?" I asked, challenging her. She rose to the bait.

She growled. I smiled. In a stern voice, she scolded me. "Like hell! Neither Heaven nor hell can keep me from this one. Not even Edward with his stupid ways and pointless promises can stop me!" Her tone was fierce.

"Go get 'em Alice," I joked.

"You can bet your life on it." Then a _click._

Alice would for sure be here in the morning. Now it was my job to make sure Bella made it to tomorrow.

I walked over and checked all the monitors she was attached to. Her heart rate was supremely low, blood pressure, low. I looked at her brain scans again. Her brain activity levels were normal. I wonder if she could understand what is going on around her, or if she is only aware of herself?

Alice was good to her word. She and Jasper arrived in Forks around six in the morning the next day. We loaded her into the transport carefully, watching all of the wires and tubes she was connected to. The ride was silent except for the occasional whimper from Alice. I could tell Jasper was upset, too. He didn't have a close relationship with Bella, but whatever upsets Alice upsets him. I think he still feels guilty for attacking Bella. He believes he's what forced Edward into this course of action. It hurt every one to see her like this.

We landed in Ithaca around 10:45. When we landed, we got Bella out of the chopper and into a ground transport. Jasper drove while Alice and I tended to Bella.

Esme was sitting anxiously on the chair in the living room when we wheeled Bella in. Esme was instantly at Bella's side. She let out a soft gasp and her eyes began to sparkle. She was horrified seeing what became of Bella. Alice took Esme's hand to comfort her while Jasper and I continued toward the downstairs bedroom. Esme prepared it for Bella in our absence.

"How is she?" Esme asked in a quiet shaky voice.

I closed my eyes and took an unnecessary breath. "Her stats haven't changed much, but her heart beats faintly," I admitted. Esme nodded her head and opened the door to the guest room.

Alice glanced at me. Her eyes were begging for more information.

"Nothing has changed," which was true, "her pulse is faint, her temperature is a little below normal, but that is to be expected. With her not being able to get the proper nutrition her body." This concerned me. The IV kept her hydrated, but she looked thinner. She had lost at least ten pounds from what differences I could see in her appearance. I would have to try and figure out how to get more nutrition in her. It just might help her.

But I think only one thing can help her now.

We all contributed. Alice and Esme were always busy brushing Bella's hair, they got her into some fresh clothes, and instead of that hospital gown that hardly covers anything. Bella needed warmer clothes.

Rosalie was not happy. When we first brought Bella back, she pouted in her room for a long time.

After I was sure Alice and Esme were fine taking care of her for a while, I went to speak with Rosalie.

I walked into her room and saw her sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, scowling at Emmett, who looked distraught.

"What do you want Carlisle?" She snipped.

I held my hands up with innocence. "I just wanted to speak with you if you could spare a few moments." She turned to glare at me.

"What is there to talk about Carlisle?" She scolded. "You broke your promise to Edward. When Edward comes back he is going to be pissed and then he's going to give all of us hell for it." She moved quickly from the bed to stand and scowl at me. "Am I the only one that keeps promises?" Her volume level was rising. Fury and fire were clear in her butterscotch eyes. "Bella doesn't belong here. Why couldn't you just leave her alone? If she wants to die then let her!" She was screaming in my face. But she was being hypocritical and that was injudicious.

I gave a stern look back at her. "Why couldn't you leave Emmett alone when he was being mauled by a bear?" She looked stunned. "I don't think I will ever understand why you dislike Bella so much, but you will have to accept that without her, Edward wouldn't bother with keeping his mortality. Would you really want to loose Edward?" She looked angry at my accusation.

Emmett walked over to put a hand on Rosalie's shoulder. She shrugged it off. "You know why I chose Emmett. You know why I suffered that burning thirst for his blood for a hundred miles. And as for my preference for Edward? I want him back more than anything. I want our family back together again, and Bella is preventing exactly that. I believe that we shouldn't risk the bond of our family over a mere human." She was growling now.

I am never angry, but I will not stand for these false accusations. "It's because of Bella that Edward is still with us. You know _exactly _what Edward would do if he found out that Bella had died." I kept my voice calm, but serious.

She put her hands on her hips as if the argument was growing old. "Edward wouldn't find out anything if you had just left her alone."

"It's what is right Rosalie!" I almost wailed. I didn't like fighting with my family. I have to make her understand. "I will not let a human die on my account. I will not have it on my conscious. My record has been kept clean and I plan to keep it that way." She dropped the scowl and made an "o" with her luscious lips. "Not that this is about my record," I assured her, "but this is moral, what is right. What we have been doing to her was wrong." Her lips made a fine line. "I will tell Edward." She gave me a sarcastic look. "Maybe if he knows what leaving has done, he won't do it again, and we will be able to be together like we were in Forks. We were more of a family with Bella. Even you have to admit it, Rosalie. So I would appreciate it if you helped Alice and Esme with taking care of her. Because without her, we will never be together like you want us to be." She sighed in defeat and looked down with her eyes closed.

"Fine. Do what you want. I'll do as you say and help save the girl who tore our family apart." She walked passed me. Emmett followed after her and gave me an apologetic gaze.

"Rosalie," I said quietly. I heard her footsteps come to a stop. "It was Edward. I know you don't want to believe it, but it was Edward, not Bella."

"Ha!" She said loudly and continued down the stairs and out to the garage. Working on cars was therapeutic to her.

I sighed and walked downstairs to check on Bella.

Esme and Alice were busy brushing her hair when I walked in. Esme, for the first time in a while, smiled up at me. She didn't like Bella in this state, but she was happy she was here with us.

Alice had a neutral look on her face. "Her heart rate is slowing Carlisle," both of their faces turned to frowns, "And her temperature keeps dropping."

I nodded, showing I understood.

Esme spoke. "Carlisle," she chided, "are you sure this was the right thing to do? Edward would be infuriated if he found out you interceded." There was slight panic in her voice.

I knew that he would, but, "Esme, it's not like Bella knows that I'm here," not a lie, but not the truth, "she is in a coma. She isn't aware of what is happening. And I think Edward would rather see her Alice than dead because of him." Though I knew this wasn't the most important reason, it was the one that needed to be heard. I knew that this was what Bella needed the most.

"You know that's not the real reason, Carlisle," she stared at me with piercing eyes. She knew the real reason. "You want her to be with us. You want her to be happy. We all do, and anyone can tell that she is not happy. You think that if Edward comes, it will convince him to stay." She could always see through my pretenses.

She knew of my true intentions. "That is true. I think it would be safer for Bella if she were with Edward. I know he wants to protect her soul and her human life, but what's the point if she doesn't get a chance to live through this? It's moot point. And I think we would all be much happier if Bella was in our lives." Alice gave me a caustic glare.

"Rosalie will be happy that we are all together. That is why she is angry. But she refuses to see that it was Edward that tore apart from us and not Bella."

Alice scowled. "I will have to have a chat with Rosalie. Just because Edward didn't really notice Rosalie and loved Bella doesn't mean she has to be a witch about it." Alice stood up, ran her white, skinny fingers down Bella's face, and walked out.

It was silent in the room again. Alice was right. Bella's heartbeat was slowing at an alarming rate. If we were going to do something to save her, we have got to try now.

"I have an idea," I said quickly. I ran out of the room and grabbed a CD from Esme's large collection in the living room. I went back as quickly as I had left.

Esme lifted her delicate eyebrows. I just waved the CD at her and she turned back to Bella…waiting to see what would happen.

I put the CD in the stereo and waited a few seconds. Then a soothing melody started to play. It was Bella's lullaby. I immediately turned to face Bella and see if this would bring out any response in her.

The muscles in her face tightened and she every so slightly turned her head. I waited to see if there would be more of a response, but none came. When the song came to an end, and Esme's started, Bella's face went back to normal. My theory was correct.

The only way she was every going to come back from this is if Edward comes back to her.

Esme sighed in defeat. "It is time Carlisle. She won't last much longer if we wait…" Her voice faded. It seemed like too long until Bella's heart beat again.

I knew she was right. Bella's health was failing by the hour. If we were going to save her, we would have to act fast.

But would Edward come if I told him to? I would have to give him a few details so he would think it was important enough. If I made it sound urgent, he would come without question.

Esme looked at me and nodded.

I closed my eyes and said, "Okay. I made this mess, I will make the phone call." I walked stiffly out of the room.

What would I say to Edward? Come home now? Bella is dying? I didn't know how to start. Truth be told that Bella _is _dying. But I couldn't tell him that. I just have to sound in a hurry and urgent. That should be enough to convince him…I hope.

I walked out of the room and down the hall to my study. I sat down at my large desk and intertwined my hands together. I just sat there staring at the phone as if it were intimidating. Ha…A phone…intimidating to a vampire.

I couldn't think of what to say, how to get around telling Edward what was really going on back home. What would he do when he got back? How could he be of help?

Bella didn't have time to answer these questions.

I sighed and hesitatingly reached for the phone. I held the phone in my hands for a few seconds before I started dialing. I pressed the keys one at a time, very slowly. As I was dialing, Rosalie appeared in the doorway.

She was smiling ruefully with her arms crossed over her chest. She reminds me of when I heard about the Boleyn sisters. Anne Boleyn seduced King Henry and Mary was pushed aside. She had no guilt whatsoever.

I just frowned back at her. I didn't know how well this conversation would go, but Rosalie's attitude will not benefit anyone no matter how this ended. She will either be rubbing it in that she was right, or have an attitude of a snake for being wrong.

I bravely held the phone to my ear when I finished dialing. The first ring startles me. _Remain calm._ I told myself. I knew I had to be convincing that something was wrong enough to make him come home.

It rang once again before he picked up.

"Carlisle?" Edward sounded troubled.

"Hello Edward," I said formally. I had to add tension if I was going to convince him something was wrong. But he spoke before I could say anything.

"I lost her. I followed a false lead into South America. How could I go to the wrong continent?" He sounded terribly ashamed.

"Edward, that's not the issue in hand at the moment," I said quickly so he couldn't go on about Victoria. "You need to get here as soon as possible. You are needed." I waited impatiently for his response.

"Yes, Carlisle. I'll be on the first plane out. I'll see you in less than 12 hours. See you then." And that was that.

Twelve more hours.

We all tended to Bella while we anxiously waited for Edward to come home.

Alice rarely left Bella. Jasper never left Alice. Rosalie paced impatiently and angrily in the foyer. Esme and Emmett were busy trying to calm Rosalie's anger. Whenever Emmett tried to lighten the mood by telling a joke or whenever Esme tired to comfort her, she would just look up at them and scowl. They eventually gave up and returned to Bella.

I couldn't help but think that Rosalie was right and that there was going to be hell to pay for this. Edward will not take me lightly when he sees what has happened. I would have to explain before he flew into a fury, but I couldn't understand how he could be angry. Did he really want to save her soul like this? By letting her soul fade while she still remained here? Did he really want her to be so lifeless? Did he really want to save her soul like this? By letting her soul fade while he tried a poor attempt to save it?

It hurt to think the words, but they were true. Edward tried to save Bella. Little did he know that Bella didn't need _this_ kind of saving, but he failed miserably. She didn't even last five months before she was destroyed. It was like she collapsed and turned to rubble.

If she is still somewhere in that almost lifeless body, she isn't going to try and save herself, try to live. This fact I was sure about. She won't try to hold onto life because Edward isn't with her. From what conclusions I can draw from Bella, life, to her, is utterly pointless without Edward. Edward had turned into her life, and it was gone.

She isn't strong enough to live without him. That much is obvious. Edward may be strong enough to live without her, but how could he think for one moment that she would go on and live her life to the fullest when he left?

When Edward first realized that he was in love with her, he couldn't leave her for more than several hours. Whenever he was away from her, he was always anxious. He was always in a rush to be with Bella or watch over her. If he struggled with that much, I couldn't imagine how hard this arrangement must be for him. I didn't see the point in mutilating and torturing himself like this, when it also affected Bella, too.

I walked into Bella's room to find her in a new outfit. Alice looked satisfied. I almost laughed. _This is the only time that she is going to get away with dressing Bella up. I can only imagine the things she would say if she were conscious of Alice's changes._ Alice turned to me and smiled.

"See?" She turned to face Bella again. "She can look like a lady with the proper dressing," Alice began to caress Bella's cheek. "She looks at peace at least. She looks beautiful." She sounded like a proud mother.

"She is always beautiful. Inside and out." I couldn't have said words with more truth.

I heard a scoff come from Rosalie outside the door. She was never going to think highly of anyone except herself.

I saw that her IV bag was getting low, so I went to find a replacement in the storage closet.

I took precautions in order to keep Bella stable here. I had stocked the closet with IV bags and made sure she always had fresh oxygen. I didn't know if she could breathe on her own yet, and until Edward gets back, I'm not willing to risk it.

Alice and Esme seemed to find joy in tending to Bella. They spent eleven straight hours in the room with her, waiting for Edward to come. We were all bracing ourselves for what his reaction may be.

On the eleventh hour of our waiting, the phone rang. It was Edward.

"Hello?" My voice was strained.

"I'm leaving the airport right now. I should be there in about 15 minutes. Is everything okay? Did I miss anything?" Only Bella's fading life. But I couldn't think that way. He was sincerely concerned. My only guess was that he thought we were in danger.

"No. Nothing terrible has happened…yet. But please hurry."

"At once."

I hung up the phone and looked up from the end table to find Alice standing.

"Where are you going Alice?" I asked. Esme took her eyes off of Bella to look at Alice on her way out.

"I can't stop thinking about Bella. I won't be able to help you when Edward comes. He will soar into a fit without us being able to explain. I want to give you a chance to keep it a secret until the last minute." She stopped and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Yes. If I leave, he will be calm and won't say anything. It will work out better if Esme came with me," She turned to look back at Esme, who was still firmly seated next to Bella, holding her hand. "Will you please accompany me for a walk in the garden?" She asked pleadingly.

Esme closed her eyes, squeezed Bella's hand one last time and stood.

"Of course. If it will help," Esme then walked out the door with Alice.

I could see them sitting in the garden on the waterfall. There was a perfect view of the rose garden from Bella's room. They didn't say anything, but they held each other's hands tightly. They were very anxious.

I think I speak for everyone (not including Emmett) when I say that I'm anxious. Edward has such erratic behavior, so his reaction is very unpredictable. Just like Bella.

A couple of minutes later, I heard Edward's tires screech to a halt in the front driveway. Esme and Alice quickly glanced up and faced where the sound had come from. I quickly ran out of the room to the foyer. Rosalie was sitting impatiently on the stairs.

"Go upstairs Rosalie. Now," I spoke urgently. She scowled, but went upstairs. I turned to look out the front window. I looked just in time to see Edward nearly take the car door off its hinges. I saw him run for the door and burst through with intensity.

His face, full of concern at first, was now a look of confusion. He stopped a couple of feet away from me.

"What's going on Carlisle?" He sounded somewhat frustrated. This wasn't what he expected to see. I knew he would try to read my mind, so my thoughts immediately went to Esme and Alice. I was very careful to keep Bella out of my mind.

His nostrils flared and his ears perked. "What is that sound Carlisle?" Suspicion crept into his frustrated tone. He continued, "what is that _smell?"_

I sighed. _I think you already know, but I'm going to prepare you anyway. I know how much pain you've been in, _I paused when he winced. _I just want you to know that you're not the only one who is suffering. _I'm sure he saw the recent picture of Alice and Esme holding hands in the garden. I focused on the sadness and worry in their expressions. He winced again.

"It was the right thing to do Carlisle!" He was trying to convince himself again. "I had to try and save her. I couldn't let what Alice saw happen. It wouldn't be right to take everything away from her like that. It seems criminal…it _is _criminal…" his voice faded into thought.

He was wrong though. _It wasn't the right thing Edward. _He stared at me in surprise, but it quickly turned into pain. I never told him he was right or wrong until now. I never judged him. I always thought God was the only one who had the power to judge. _You did exactly what you set out _not _to do. Now come with me. _It was time to get this moment over and done with. There wasn't time for idling.

Edward still carried an ashamed expression, and as we walked closer to the room, his nostrils flared and his eyes widened again. He seemed to have a clue as to what all these sensations were.

I stopped right outside of Bella's room. Her door was closed. I paused to glance at him again. He seemed to be seeing what was beyond the door.

He seemed confused. I soon figured it was the silence.

I could see his hands start to tremble. "Why is it so qui-" before he could finish, the heart monitor beeped again.

I closed my eyes and turned to open the door slowly. I had never felt true terror until this very moment. I wasn't terrified of Edward. No, I was terrified _for_ Edward. Not myself.

He quickly assessed what was dominating the central space of the room. His eyes were wide with shock. His facial expression was a mixture of torment, anger, pain, loss, and guilt. He slowly walked toward her. He seemed very unsure of himself.

I didn't need to be a mind reader to know the questions he was thinking of.

"Alice and I wanted to keep in touch with Forks." I started. I spoke aloud because I knew he wouldn't be paying attention to my thoughts. I'd be surprise if he were paying attention to me at all. He was completely focused on Bella, but I continued anyway. "Christmas day I found out that there was a patient in Forks that was in critical condition and needed my medical attention. I didn't know who it was, but when I read the article, " I mentally ran through its contents so he knew by the off chance he was reading my mind. "I couldn't just ignore a patient who needed me. I took precautions though. I told Dr. Gerandy to stay quiet about our transaction. He didn't ask why. Apparently the patient needed me so bad that he would go to any lengths to keep it under the radar. But I didn't expect _this _when I set out. I couldn't leave her in the state she was in. We tried several things at first. We got little or no response from her." I stopped, and Edward shook his head.

"What do you mean, 'no response'?" He understood. He just didn't want to. But he only mouthed the words. So I knew that he knew somewhere deep down.

I hated having to admit this to him, but he needed to come back to reality, and stop living in the world where he thinks Bella would live a better life without him.

"She won't wake up Edward. I'm not sure if she just doesn't _want_ to wake up, or if she suffered serious trauma, but she has been like this since the end of September. She hasn't even opened her eyes since then. I thought that you would have the best chance of saving her.

His glistening eyes never left Bella's snow white face. I never took my eyes off of Edward. Would he break? What was going to happen now that he knows? I stood and gazed at him, searching for the long awaited reaction. I glanced passed him and out the windows. Alice and Esme were was still as the statue on the fountain they were perched on. They waited anxiously with me for Edward's reaction.

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**Cliff hanger! You won't find out what Edward's reaction for a while, but you will get to find out what was running through his complex and erratic mind while he was struggling to keep from Bella and fighting to exterminate the wild, red-headed Victoria. 10 reviews and I will continue. I can't improve without your opinions! And helping me improve will help you enjoy more. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!**


	4. Part II: Edward

**Okay, here is the introduction to Edward's perspective. This starts shortly before he recieves the frightening phone call from Carlisle. This shows the wild thoughts and emotions that Edward faces under a daily basis. I will probably install the next chapter saturday or sunday. Also look out for a new chapter of Moonlight! PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight...and sadly Edward Cullen. wish he was mine!**

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**Part II Edward**

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Victoria was harder to track than I thought. She seems to have a talent for evasion. It's almost as if she can tell when she is in some kind of danger just in time to make a run for it. Had this turned into a game?

I gritted my teeth together as the anger pulsed through me, thinking that the theory was probably one hundred percent correct. This anger was worse than in Port Angeles. Only this time I didn't have the option of murder, because I couldn't find her.

Bella. Thinking of that night in Port Angeles brought back vivid memories of her. Once again I began to feel empty, hollow.

I snuck into the shadows of the trees to sit down on the bench in the shade. Thinking of Bella made me want to crumble to the ground. I wanted to turn into dust and let the wind blow me to Bella.

Why am I here? Why am I doing this? Was this the right thing to do? No. I shouldn't question that. Of course this was the right thing to do. Leaving Bella in Forks was for the best. It had to be. Her soul was too pure to be wasted. She was too good, too pure. Too selfless and caring to have it all wasted. She deserved so much better than someone constantly putting her on the edge of danger all the time. She could live a life free of fear, hidden war, secrets. She deserved better than an eternity of night. She deserved more than me.

The thought was awful, but true. I put my elbows on my knees and let my hands support my head. I rested my face in my hands. Hating them for their coldness, strength, and their purpose.

No. Their purpose had changed when I put Bella's face in them. I had always thought they were for killing before Bella came into my lonesome life. But then I discovered a better occupation for them. They were meant to hold Bella's. They were meant to touch her face, wipe her tears, and hold her when she needed comfort. But I wanted to use my crude hands to protect her.

Was she okay? Was she happy? Was she living life to the fullest, as I meant for her to do? But more importantly, what was she thinking? Her mind worked in such strange and peculiar ways. Most of the time I just thought it worked in reverse. Her mind was always silent to me, but her eyes were the deepest pools of chocolate brown. They were my windows to her mind. Her eyes spoke her thoughts. Sometimes what they said truly surprised me. Though after my practice embracing her indifference, I should get used to it. But now I don't get to.

Why do I continue with this self torture? How much longer could I last without her? Sometimes when I open my eyes, it isn't what is in front of me I see. All I see is Bella. She is always in my thoughts. There was no avoiding the painful worry I have for her. She is my everything. And I left everything behind. I left her because I loved her too much to ruin her future. She would have a happy human life. _Keep convincing yourself that._ She would get over me and say yes to someone who makes her happy, makes her laugh, hold her when she is upset, care for her beautiful children, and make sure she was safe.

I realized this and my emotions changed to quickly to track. Anger, pain, loss, jealousy, and more pain rushed through me. I couldn't breathe (even though I don't really have to). It angered me because no one will ever be worthy of her. No one would ever be good enough for her. I suddenly realized why I was feeling these emotions. I felt anger because it was fact that no one would ever be good enough to have her heart. I felt pain because of the possibility that she would say yes to someone else. I felt loss because she had said yes to me. And now she wasn't mine. But even if she doesn't know it, I will always be hers.

An elderly woman came to a stop in front of me. I heard her breath stop as she took in the miserable figure in front of her. I quickly ran through her thoughts.

_Que é errado com este homem? Olha como se está a ponto de se desintegrar à terra abaixo de seus pés. Não olha mesmo humano_. (Translation: What is wrong with this man? He looks as if he is going to crumble to the ground beneath him. He doesn't even look human…)

I immediately looked up. She couldn't have gotten the guess right the first time. I guess my hostile side came out a little bit more than intended. I could see my stare in her eyes and it looked like it belonged to a monster.

_Oh! Olha demasiado perigoso. Têm que ir. Aqueles olhos pertencem a um monstro! (_Translation: Oh! He is too dangerous…have to go. Those eyes belong to a monster!) Not that far off lady.

She stiffly walked away. I had put my head back into my hands, but I saw through her thoughts that she was staring back at me as she walked away. Thinking all the while that I was a monster.

Citizens in Rio were always too curious for their own good. But they knew a lot. Their legends were very close to what we truly are. They know more than people give them credit for. But seeing myself through the woman's thoughts reminded me that I needed to hunt. Thinking of Bella distracted me from the burning desire in the back of my throat.

I got up from my bench and let the hood of my black jacket sink in front of my face. I pulled the sleeves down and held them with my hands to keep the skin from showing. I knew I shouldn't be out during the day while the sun was out. But here it was unavoidable. And I was on a mission that had no time for hiding. The longer Victoria is out there, the bigger the possibility she would attack someone I know…or love.

I made a break for the lush and abundant forest. The trees provided the shade I needed from the sun. It was quieter in the jungle. It was a lot easier to fool myself into peace. I closed my eyes when I found a suitable spot. But instead of seeing my prey, I saw Bella. I cringed. It almost saddened me that she would never see me hunt. Almost. I cursed myself for worsening the torture I was inflicting on myself. Besides, letting Bella see me on a hunt would be bad for her safety. I tried focusing on the animals surrounding me. Bella disappeared from my thoughts for the moment. I heard the light pounding of heavy paws and a low rumble that was supposed to be a soft growl. Mountain lion. I felt its presence due north of where I stood and in a tree. I opened my eyes and flew in the direction of the delicious prey.

By the time I could regain control of myself, I saw a lifeless mountain lion in front of me. It's head was twisted at an odd angle from the break I made to it's neck. I grimaced in horror. I hated myself. I hated my hard, cold, strong hands. I hated them for what became of them now. Hunting reminded me of why I hated myself. The difference between now and when I was in Forks, was I was with Bella. With Bella, these hands had a true purpose. These hands had the most important job. They did good. They protected the one I loved most. The one thing that mattered.

I shoved the lion away from myself in disgust. I would have to quickly dispose of it. To hide it from the possible hiker. To rid myself of the evidence that I had once again become the monster I had worked so hard to destroy.

After I had properly disposed of the lifeless lion, I needed space to think.

I found I fallen tree that looked inviting. It wasn't that I had any problem standing, it's just that sometimes, when I think, the pain causes me to crumble to the ground.

I curled up onto the fallen tree. I wrapped my hands around my legs and rested my head.

Bella. I was doing this for Bella. All this pain and suffering is for Bella. This is to make her safe, to make her happy. You are doing a good thing. You are doing the _right _thing.

I chanted these words as if they were a song.

But what if having me leave had the opposite effect? I never could understand how her mind worked, but I hoped that my lies passed through as the truth. Or did I?

Why was I being such a masochist? Why was I keeping my distance when we are happier together? What if this pain that I'm feeling, Bella also felt? But she promised she would take care of herself and not do anything stupid. Her promises were solid. She never broke a promise before. There is no reason for her to start now.

I was startled to feel the phone vibrate in my pocket. I actually jumped off of the fallen tree. The tree groaned as my immediate movement caused it to roll.

I jammed my hand into my pocket and pulled out the small cell phone.

It was Carlisle.

I paused for a moment and thought quickly. Should I answer the phone? If I answer it, I doubt I could hide my failure from him. Would he be disappointed? I toyed with the idea of just letting the phone buzz for the rest of my life. But that would be irrational. And what if Carlisle needed me? The phone was at the second buzz and I finally answered.

"Carlisle." I didn't want to admit my defeat. I hated showing weakness to Carlisle. He always believed me to be strong. Even though he was my father, I couldn't break his faith in me.

"Hello Edward." I could hear him hesitate.

I couldn't do it. "I lost her. I followed a false lead into South America. How could I go to the wrong _continent_? How can I make this world safe for Bella if I can't even track what's putting her in danger?" I felt so ashamed that I betrayed the faith Carlisle had in me. Where could she have gone? The possibilities were frightening. I should have thought of this earlier, the trail was cold now, but I was slightly distracted.

"Edward, now is not the time to talk about Victoria and her mysterious agenda," he seemed flustered. Almost as if he was being very careful and choosey with his words. "You need to come home. Now." What had him so stressed. He sounded rushed. What the hell was going on?

"What happened?" It came out harsher than intended. I was angered at the thought of something irritating or frustrating Carlisle. He had the longest fuse in all of history. It takes a truck load of problems to make Carlisle spark. It must be _really _bad if he couldn't handle this with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Esme.

"Of course. I'll be on the first plane out. I'll see you in less than 24 hours." I informed.

"Please hurry Edward. There isn't much time," He trailed off.

"Time for what?" I asked cautiously.

There was a pause before he spoke again. "I can't tell you yet. Just hurry home." He all of a sudden sounded tired.

"I'll be there as soon as possible. See you then." I hung up before anymore of my list of questions spilled.

My family needed me. But for what? It couldn't be Victoria. He dismissed the Victoria notion. What could be that bad? The Volturi? We haven't done anything to arouse trouble. At least not enough trouble to attract the Volturi's attention. What could the problem be then?

There was one thing I knew for sure. My family needed me. Nothing would keep me from helping them. Well…only one thing.

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So there's Edwards view. I thought i should just show you how his mind works before i get into the dramatic reapperance. So review and tell me what you think! And tell me if you have any suggestions.


	5. What Have I Done?

**Here is the second chapter of Edward's point of view. Edward returns to New York and finds his entire world half dead in a hospital bed. What will happen next??? .DUUUUN! Please review! **

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What have I done?

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I waited until twilight to start running so I could move at top pace without notice. I seemed to move much faster than time. I didn't notice anyone; I didn't care about anyone, except my family. I sprinted to the airport.

I slowed down when I approached. I still needed to buy my ticket without drawing suspicion. I ran to the head of the line in a rush. I heard shouts and curses be thrown at me, but I ignored them. I breached the counter where a young woman stood in uniform.

"I need a one way ticket to New York please," I asked in a breathless rush.

She gazed at me as if I were insane. "Sir, you have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else. I'm sure there will be another flight this evening. I need you to let these people who have been waiting in line through. You will have to wait," She said firmly when I was about to argue.

I took a deep, calming breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't do that." I unleashed my persuasion through my fierce gaze. "I have a family emergency and I have to get home as soon as possible. Now can you help me or not?" Her eyes widened and she took a step back to the counter. Emmett would be proud. I still have it in me.

"Uh-um," She stuttered shaking her head. "Do you have an ID?" She was almost confused. It worked.

"Of course." I handed her the ID that read: "Robert Missoni". Jasper took care of the ID system for the family. "How will you be paying for this?" She asked in a shaky tone.

"Credit." I pulled out a credit card. She took it with tremulous hands.

She pressed a few keys, clicked a few times, and then she turned back to me. She still looked befuddled. It took effort to resist a smirk.

"Here you are sir. You'd better hurry. You're flight leaves in twenty minutes. I'd suggest you hurry." She gave me a warning look.

"You don't have to tell me twice." I took back my credit card and ID in a hurry. I flew through security and managed to get on the plane just in time.

Flying was irritating. Although it was faster than swimming, it still felt like I wasn't moving at all. I felt like I should be running as fast as I could to my family, instead of leisurely sitting quietly in first class. But irritation was not the issue at hand.

I boarded my flight within seconds to spare. The plane was relatively small. Only businessmen seemed to be on the plane. They were dressed in expensive Gucci, Armani, and Brooks Bros. Suits. I looked dirty and shaggy next to them in my worn and faded blue jeans, fitted white t-shirt, beige leather jacket, and my shoes were just as worn as my jeans. But knowing Alice, all of these items put together probably cost more than those men's lives.

The flight passed painfully slowly. The hours seemed to pass like days. They went by so slow, I actually considered luring the flight attendants to the front so I could jump out the emergency exit in the back and swim the rest of the way there. I had a pretty good idea of where we were. It looked to be about a mile off the coast of northern Florida. It wouldn't take long to jump out and run to New York. But no. They have my name on their list of passengers. It would arouse suspicion to have a flier get on and not come off a flight. I could never put my family under a microscope like that.

After hours of tortuous waiting, the plane finally landed at JFK airport. I quickly rose out of my seat and was the first one off the plane. I ran a little fast for a human. To them I probably looked like an Olympic sprinter with serious endurance, but that didn't matter anymore. I had to hurry to help my family.

When I entered the dark garage, my cautious human paced run turned into an all-out sprint for my car. I nearly took the door off its hinges and slammed it closed. I turned the keys before the door shut. My Vanquish roared to life and I sped out of the garage and was out of the airport within sixty seconds.

JFK was about a two-hour ride without traffic if you were going at the speed limit. I was going twice the speed limit. It would take me twenty minutes tops to get to the house. I dug the phone out of my pocked and dialed Carlisle's number to inform him of my close range. He answered after a couple of rings.

"I'm leaving the airport right now," I said before he could get a word in. "I should be there in ten minutes. Is everything okay? Did I miss anything?" I needed to know if I was too late.

"No, nothing terrible has happened…yet. But," He paused for a second. He sounded very tired. "_Please_ hurry Edward."

He didn't need to tell me twice. "At once."

What does he mean 'yet'? Does he know something is going to happen? Another thing seemed strange. Carlisle never sounds tired. The only time he ever sounds tire or frustrated, is when he has to treat people like Emmett and explain the same thing over and over again. Hah. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Emmett that was driving him insane.

I sped a little more than I usually did, and I arrived at the house in ten minutes instead of twenty. I pulled up to the house and yanked the key out of ignition. I seemed to be a little rough with my car, because I caught a glimpse of the hinges straining to keep a hold of the door. I ran up the front porch and threw open the door. I immediately stopped. Carlisle was sitting on the landing on the stairs. His arms were crossed, looking flustered. But it wasn't Carlisle's strange position that brought me to a halt. It was what I heard. There was a loud, but very slow paced being coming from the extra bedroom on the first level. It sounded almost like a heart monitor… The scent also confused me. I burned lightly in my throat even though I had just hunted. For the love of all that is holy, what is going on?

"Carlisle," My voice reflected the confusion I felt and turned his name into a question. "What is that sound? What is that _smell_? What is happening?" I couldn't get all my questions out fast enough. Nothing fit. With the situation I imagined happening, everyone would be in lockdown and rushing to get things prepared for an escape.

Carlisle took a deep sigh and closed his eyes. I've never seen him look this tired.

"Where is everybody?" I closed my eyes and searched for them. All my senses told me they were in the spare room. But before I could hear their thoughts, Carlisle's mental voice drew my attention.

_I think you already know, but I'm going to prepare you anyway. I know how much pain you've been in. I just want you to know that you're not the only one suffering. _I winced. I know that this not only hurt me, but Alice was also torn apart. She loved…she loved her like a sister.

"It was the right thing to do Carlisle!" I seemed to be convincing myself again. I wasn't reading his mind, but I could tell that he sincerely wanted me to lower my voice. I started in a much softer tone. "I had to save her. I couldn't let what Alice saw happen. I wouldn't be right to take everything away from her. Every opportunity to be a normal human, to start a family, to start a career, it would've gone straight out the window. It seems almost criminal to do so." Even though I felt like I did the right thing, I still felt guilt coursing through my body like an ocean wave.

_It wasn't the right thing to do Edward._ A shock of pain ran through me. I didn't expect this. He never told me I was wrong before. He has always supported me or had my back. If I was certain of my decision, then so was Carlisle. I really had betrayed his faith in me. Pain ripped through me again. _You did _exactly _what you had set out not to do. Now come with me._

He started walking in the direction of the spare room. The smell became more potent. My throat began to burn hotter and hotter. Finally I remembered the last time I felt this sensation. I remembered the smell. Realization hit me like an atomic bomb.

My eyes stared wide and my nostrils flared as we came to a stop in front of the closed door. Some things were missing. The last time I had felt this way, there was more sound. Beautiful music smothered my world. I noticed what was missing. There should be a heartbeat.

"Why is it so quiet-" and then there came another beep. It was like someone recorded the sound and put it into extreme slow motion. I was faintly aware of Carlisle's concerned and cautious thoughts as he opened the door painfully slow.

My body wanted to collapse with the pain. The pain, loss, guilt, and anger pulsed through me. My legs became weak, as if they were threatening to give out at any second. I looked at the unnaturally still white figure in the hospital bed, connected to all the monitors, waiting to fall apart.

"Bella," It was a strained whisper, but that was all I could manage. I think I just mouthed her name. No one noticed. Not even Carlisle. Her hair was neatly brushed over the pillow. She looked paler than even me, her flawless skin looked tight over her bones, and her frail looking hands looked as if they could fall apart at any second, and I nearly wept. I couldn't see her eyes.

Carlisle seemed to see the unspoken questions in my tortured expression.

_Alice and I wanted to keep in touch with Forks._ He started. _Christmas day I found out that there was a patient in Forks that was in critical condition. I didn't know who it was, but when I read the article,_ I scanned through the article from Carlisle's memory. I nearly cried out. _I couldn't just ignore the people who needed me._ Of course he couldn't. He was Carlisle. Loving and compassionate Carlisle. _I took precautions. I told Dr. Gerandy to stay quiet about our interaction. He didn't ask why. Apparently the patient needed me so bad that he would go to any lengths to keep in under the radar. But I didn't expect _this_ when I set out. I couldn't leave her in the state she was in. We brought her here the day after. We tried several things at first. We got little or no response from her. _His words echoed through my head.

"What do you mean, 'no response?" I had a terrifying feeling that I already knew the answer.

_She won't wake up Edward. She has been like this since the end of September. She hasn't opened her eyes since. I thought that you would have the best chance of saving her. _Carlisle picked out the words 'terminal coma' in his head. All thoughts vanished.

The only thing that existed at the moment was Bella. I didn't want to hear Carlisle, or anyone anymore. I just stared wide-eyed at the beautiful sleeping girl on the hospital bed. I walked slowly over to the bed that was the centerpiece of the room. Her angel like mahogany hair was brushed into silk. Courtesy of Esme and Alice, no doubt. But as I looked at her still, white figure, I realized I wouldn't able to stay calm for long. I was going to break.

I asked in a strained tone, "Would you mind?" I didn't need an audience. They didn't need to see the burning man that I felt like inside, ready to writhe in flames. My voice came out forced and pained. That clued them in.

I faintly felt Carlisle's hesitation, but I wasn't paying attention to their thoughts. I saw no one but Bella. He reluctantly told everyone to leave from what little I caught of what he said. All three of them left. When the door closed behind me, I couldn't hold it in any longer.

I put my hand on the bed rail and sank to the floor next to the bed. The wave of guilt completely crushed me. What kind of monster had I become?

I couldn't keep my thoughts to myself anymore. "Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella," I whispered so low over and over. They wouldn't hear me. "I'm so sorry Bella, so sorry." I let out something between a sigh and a high-pitched groan. "Why did it turn out this way? This was supposed to save you, not completely dismantle-" I couldn't finish. No wonder Carlisle was so disappointed. He didn't mention it, but it was there. I failed. What used to be bliss suddenly turned into a bitter oblivion. All because of me.

"I tried to save you and I failed. I'm so sorry Bell." I stood up and took a seat next to the bed. I took her thin hands in mine. They weren't warm like they used to be. They were nearly as cold as mine. I could see the blood slowly pulsing through her skin. She couldn't get the nutrition she needed to keep the blood flowing. I made a quick glance to the IV machine. I couldn't take my eyes off of her for more than a second.

What have I done? I thought I had saved her from an eternity of night, not lead her straight to it. I thought she would live a happy human life without me. Instead I turned her to the only option she could live with. Was the pain she was feeling really that much? So much pain, that she chose permanent sleep over never seeing me again? I admit that it pleased me to know that she cared for me that much. I was disgusted with myself for wanted her. It was wrong. She deserved so much better than me.

"You believed me, and every single lie," I whispered. I brushed away the stray hairs that had fallen to her face. "You were just miles away from all that you could be. Why did you go and destroy it all, Bella? You'd better not have done it because of me. In any case, we are both broken at the moment." My eyes started to burn. For the first time in a hundred years, I was crying.

I suddenly felt an intense fear. Was I going to loose her? Permanently? My world was caving under faster than I could think. I had to save her.

"What will my life mean if it's gone, Bella? You can't just leave me." _Why not? You left her._ I wanted to take what I'd just said back.

Carlisle said I was the only one who could save her. Something tugged at me in the back of my head. I realized, a seemingly long time ago, I decided that since God did not grant her a guardian angel, that I would be her vampire guardian angel. At the time, I laughed at the thought. But now I was starting to believe. Could vampires really become guardians? To a human? And if I could save her, then how would I do it?

I just gazed at my life that was resting in the bed, so cold and still. I didn't know how I would do it, but I was going to save her. That's what guardians do.

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**I've been trying to improve on Edward's point of view. I hope i'm getting it right...(.) Review!**


	6. Cure

**I have been waiting to write this chapter! No, it's not the last. I still want to write from Bella's perspective for a chapter or two, just to get the idea of the trauma that convinced her waking up would be no good to her. In the book, her time in a 'catatonic' state wasn't exactly covered. I have always been curious, so I imagined what it would be like for her. Then I might finish up with another chapter or so and the prologue. Thank you to my fans who have followed this story from the beginning. Keep on reviewing!**

**Cure**

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I didn't know how to do it. I had no experience with coma patients. I helped Carlisle with a few minor injuries that didn't involve blood, but this was entirely different. This was coma. This was the one I loved. This was Bella.

I tried talking to her for the longest time. My first on my list of things to say was I was sorry. No one bothered us. I heard them all leave to hunting the day after I arrived. Subtly giving us alone time, I guess.

All those times I wished I could talk to her, and my only chance now was when she was in a deep sleep. It was too long ago that I heard her voice, her words that seemed almost like poetry. Now Bella's voice was just a distant lullaby to me. She's locked inside herself. All she needs is a key.

As soon as I was sure we were alone, I started to talk to her.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." I couldn't seem to stress how sorry I really was. "I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for any of this to happen. When I left, my only thought was to make sure that your soul was safe. My only goal was to ensure your human life and have you live it to the fullest without someone who couldn't be human with you. I just didn't want to take anything away from you." Specifically the human things that Rosalie would happily trade anything for. But I won't admit that to her. I know what she would say. She would say that she didn't need anyone but me. But she was too young to really know what it felt like. "You deserve much better than me Bella." This comment seemed to anger, or annoy her. There was the slightest crease between her eyebrows. The very slightest. I didn't want to upset her. Even in sleep. So I moved onto a more cheerful topic.

"I went to Rio de Janeiro. I will not say what for, but I went there." I didn't want to frighten her with my bloodthirsty ambitions. She hated the idea of a fight. She always had. "The sun shone brightly there. So I had to stay close to the shadows, but the heat felt good. The way the sun's rays reflected off the ocean was beautiful. Not nearly as beautiful as you though. If you were standing there, it would look plain and ordinary in comparison." I saw a little bit of blood move sluggishly to her cheeks. The change was hardly visible, but it was there. She never did get used to the compliments I gave her. "The forest was very lush, too. It was very green and plentiful. Maybe if you wake up soon, I could take you there and show it to you." I waited for a response. The crease between her eyebrows disappeared. It looked as if she would be smiling. She looked at peace. She liked the idea. "I would take you there if you would just wake up." It was a vain hope to think she would wake so soon.

I talked with her more about my travels. Small, minute reactions were rare. I gazed at her most of the time. I silently observed her physical condition after a while of looking at her face. She lost so much weight. Her skin was so tight over her bones, it looked as if they would pop out. Her hands were small, thin, and delicate. They were almost as cold as mine. You could see the blood struggling to pump through her veins under her snow, white skin. She looked to be as fragile as a crumbling flower. Just the slightest movement would cause a petal to fall off. Her life was fading before my eyes and I couldn't figure out how to has too much faith in me. What can I do?! This isn't my field of expertise! Carlisle claimed that there was no treatment that he could do for her to help. That her problem was clearly psychological. Maybe the answer will come to me if I try to clear my thoughts.

For the first time, I looked at the room I was in. Although the hospital bed and equipment were in the room, everything else looked normal. Near the 3 large bay windows, there was a sitting area. Two antique chairs sat across a small round table. A vase of blood red roses sat at the center. The walls were an off shade of green. Almost a sage. The large, white crown molding went around the room. I followed it to the other side of the room where the door was. To the left of the door was the bathroom entrance. Past the door came to bed side table where there was a lamp and another vase of flowers. There was also a C.D player and an empty clear case.

I silently walked to the other side of the bed and approached the player. I pressed play.

A familiar melody started to play. It seemed like ages since I wrote the piece. My inspiration was a young girl, lying peacefully in bed, her hair tangled up like seaweed. This was Bella's lullaby.

Esme, Alice, and Carlisle must have already tried this technique. The first time I played it for her, she silently cried tears of joy and love. And when I gave a similar C.D for her tragic 18th birthday, she cried tears of pure joy. She said, "I couldn't ask for anything better…" She normally hated gifts, but for some reason this one made her the happiest.

I turned to look at Bella again. It seemed so wrong that she wasn't blushing, or crying of joy over a silly song written by a love sick boy. Her body was-instead- still, cold, and white. The very state I wanted to protect her from.

I walked back to my chair next to Bella's bed. I put both of her feeble hands in mine. The dry feeling in the back of my throat never vanished, but it was easier to ignore when I was severely focused on other matters.

I started to remember Bella and I together. I remembered that during the summer, we would spend all our days and nights together. Charlie wasn't aware of my nightly visits, but I never got tired of listening to Bella in her sleep. Every time she said my name or said she loved me, a shock of pleasure and happiness coursed through me. We were rarely ever apart. She got sick during the summer. She was running a high fever, had the chills and a cold sweat. I didn't leave her at all for that week that she was sick. And when Charlie came up to check on her, I would just hide in her closet. I laid next to her so that she wouldn't feel so hot. If we were ever apart, she was either at work or being held prisoner by Alice on one of her shopping gigs.

Bella's lack of style was always a thorn in Alice's side. I looked at Bella again. For the first time I realized that she was wearing hyacinth blue long sleeve shirt and thick pajama pants. It was the most beautiful color on her skin. I would have to thank Alice later.

Later. Would Bella have a later? How long does she have left? Is she strong enough to wait for me to help her? There just wasn't any time left to figure out these questions.

Once again I started to think. Maybe something that brought a strong reaction in her from me, that might apply now.

Every time I would touch her, her heart would take flight and she would blush a brilliant scarlet. She was embarrassed, but I was, as she puts it, dazzled. Her beauty never ceased to stun me.

Maybe that reaction will still be there.

I decided that I should test this theory. I gently placed her hands back on the bed and put my hands on her cheeks. I caressed her cheek with one hand. There was a blush again. I heard her heart rate pick up another few beats a minute. I kept my hand there, still stroking my hand up and down her cheeks. Her heart rate came to a normal speed. The blush in her cheeks became more prominent.

She could feel me.

She could hear me and feel me. She was here. She took in every word I had said to her. For the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt hope.

"Bella, Bella, can you hear me, love? Can you squeeze my hand?" I placed my hand in hers. There was a slight witch in her fingers. She desperately wanted to respond. I could see that. "Bella, try again. Wake up Bella. Please open your eyes. I haven't seen them in so long." It was torchure to have my one source of reading her thoughts cut off. I sounded like I was begging. I didn't care. I would grovel on my knees for a decade without complaining if she would just wake up.

Her hand twitched more noticeably this time. She was gaining control of her body again. I was so close to succeeding. The crease between her eyebrows that said she was focusing hard, became more prominent, too. She was trying so hard to answer my desperate pleas.

I needed to help her. I gently placed my hands on either side of her face. My hands stretched from her temples to her chin. I drew myself closer, standing up, now hovering over her. My face was just an inch away from hers. I didn't even notice my inflamed throat. I had just hunted, and this was Bella. I couldn't loose her.

Being this close always woke the monster in the back of my head. He was weak because he had just woken. He wasn't alert. I ignored him and focused on Bella. I sincerely hoped this would work. It had to. This brought out the strongest reaction from Bella in the past. It should still apply, shouldn't it?

I very carefully and very lightly pressed my lips to hers.

The monster was awake now. The fires was not so easy to ignore anymore. The burning desire did not cease. I did my best to ignore.

All of a sudden, I felt heat radiating from her agina. I opened my eyes and parted with her lips. Her cheeks were a radiant scarlet again. The heart monitor alerted me that her heart rate was higher than normal.

My face was a few inches away from her in case she decided to open her eyes.

She took in a deep breath, compared to her usual short and shallow breaths, and let it out in a gust. Her cheeks were still a violent red. I brushed the back of my hand along the length of her forehead. Her eyes squinted a little.

I put one hand on her cheek. It felt warm. She let out another sigh.

Her eyes all of a sudden fluttered, and opened.

Her eyes were squinted, but opened. They slowly opened wider as her eyes adjusted to the light. Then I could see a reflection of myself in her deep, chocolate brown eyes. My eyes were wide with excitement. Relief flooded through me like a river. She was awake. She was alive. She was here. Mind and body.

She smiled her beautiful, brilliant wide and white smile. Tears of joy flowed down her cheeks like a graceful waterfall. Then she sniffled.

Then she whispered my name. "Edward." When she said my name, an electric shock of life rushed down my spine.

The relief and joy was overwhelming. I felt healed of all previous pain and torture. I pressed my lips to hers again. I put my hands on her cheeks. She lifted her shaking hands to my face. Burning desire raged through me. It felt like a white-hot iron had just been shoved down my throat. But I could care less. Passion flowed through me like a river. She was here with me. I could've stayed like this forever.

We stayed like this for an immeasureable amount of time. In the brief moments my lips left hers, I whispered her name. She seemed relieved to have me here. But for some odd reason, I could feel triumph from her.

The kiss unwillingly ended. Leaving her out of breath. I held her to my chest, her head resting under my chin. When her breathing slowed, she spoke.

"I did it Edward." I unwillingly pushed her a few inches away to get a look at her face. Did what? What was she talking about? She continued. "Carlisle was right Edward," I didn't understand, 'Carlisle was right'? What was that supposed to mean? She took in the confused look on my face.

"I told you that you had a soul. See? There is an after life for your kind." Horror rushed through me as I understood what she was trying to say. When she said she 'did it', she was talking about how she had succeeded in killing herself. And she thought we were both dead together.

"Bella, you're not dead. You're alive. You're here. You're awake." I was becoming concerned.

Now she looked confused. I didn't know if it was from my horrified expression of realization, or from what I was telling her. Maybe it was both. "Of course I'm dead Edward," she said it as if that was completely obvious, "I died in October. I've been waiting for you." She smiled.

Where did this come from? She thought she _died_? Where did she get the utterly absurd idea? Was this just an after effect of the coma? Should I get Carlisle? I'll try to convince her first.

"Bella, I'm not dead. And neither are you." I said sternly. Had she become delusional?

"Edward, there is no other explanation. There would be no other explanation for why you are here. Wait, _where_ are we?" She looked around us taking in the scene. Her eyes glanced at everything, the hospital bed, the several machines she was connected to, confusion flashed across her face. I thought I should explain.

I waited until she was looking at me again. "Carlisle heard that someone in Forks needed major treatment that the hospital couldn't provide," she continued to gaze at me confusedly. "Being Carlisle, he couldn't just ignore someone who needed his help. So he went back, expecting that everything would need to be kept quiet so you wouldn't know about his visit. But he never expected to find you to be the one he needed to treatment." I could see some comprehension in her eyes. She was beginning to understand. "You have been in a coma since the end of September." I thought that would be a good place to pause and give her a second to think.

She turned her face down from mine and stared at her folded hands in her lap. She shakily tried to lean back against the elevated bed. I put my arm around her shoulders to help her back without so much strain. She didn't look back up at me.

"So I'm not dead," she looked up at me and I nodded to confirm. There was a long moment of silence. The expression on her face was unreadable.

"How long?" she asked me quietly.

"Its New Years eve. So a little more than three months." I responded just as quietly as she asked.

Her eyebrows furrowed into a pensive look. "I don't remember much," she struggled for words. Then she looked at me with pained eyes. "Why are you here?" Her voice was thick with tears. It tortured me to see her so upset. "Why did you kiss me like that? You don't even love me anymore," Her voice cracked. I felt the strong need to make her happy.

"Bella," I brushed a tear away from her cheek. "Bella stop." She finally looked up to meet my eyes. "Bella, I'm here because I love you," I said slowly so that she would catch every word.

She looked confused. "That's stupid," she said, almost to herself.

I contradicted. "How so?"

She looked at me with sad eyes. "It doesn't make sense," she tried to explain. I just gazed back at her confused. She explained further. "It wouldn't make sense If you loved me. I'm just lowly and human. I'm nothing special." She sniffled. She was truly upset by this.

But how could she think something so impossible? It was utterly absurd to think that just because she was human, she was insignificant. She was anything but in my world.

"What are you talking about, Love? You are special," she looked away.

Then she shook her head. "If that were true, you wouldn't have left me in the first place." She really believed that I didn't love her.

"Bella," I started slowly, "when I first left you," she winced at the memory. "Those were all lies." She shook her head as if she were trying to deny herself the truth.

She looked up with her eyes fierce…and angry. "I'M DEAD EDWARD. I died the day you left! The moment you told me you didn't love me, I died," I winced as I felt the intensity of her words. They were just course and quiet whispers.

I wanted to kill myself at this very moment. I wanted to throw myself out into sun in the middle of the crowd with all the Volturi watching. She was destroyed by my lies.

"I'm so sorry Bella," she couldn't fathom how sorry. "There is no real excuse for what I've done. If I had to think of one, the first one that would come to my mind would be that I acted out of fear," her eyes warily met mine. "After what happened with Jasper," she winced at the memory, "I didn't want to put you in that kind of danger ever again. But it seems as though I can put heaven and earth between us and you'll still be in danger," I said ruefully. I could see a smile twitching at her lips. "Bella, everything that I said to you that day was a lie." Her eyes seemed to glaze over. I couldn't read her mind, but it probably didn't take a mind reader to tell that she was having an instant replay of that horrid day back in September. The tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

"Bella," I allowed myself to wipe a tear from her cheek. "Bella, the only reason I said that was to protect you," she rolled her eyes angrily, but I pushed on. "I wanted to protect you from becoming what Alice saw," her breath caught, and I knew I hit the right button. "I wanted to give you so much more than what I had to offer. You deserved more than an eternity of night, more than," I stopped myself.

She seemed to look straight through me. Her eyes penetrated mine with an almost painful intensity. Her eyes looked…hopeful.

"More than you?" she whispered. The silence between us seemed to scream out the truth, but we didn't speak it.

Her hand shakily reached for mine. I took it without hesitation. A shock of life seemed to burst into me when we touched.

"Do you still love me?" I asked just above a whisper. She stared at me in disbelief.

"I'm serious," I said with all sincerity.

She lifted her hand and hit me on the arm…it felt more like a feather than a true impact.

"Do you? Do you still love me after all I have done?" This time, my voice was the one that cracked.

Her voice croaked, "No, Edward. There is noooo possible way for me to love you. The day you left was the happiest day of my life so I went out and partied myself into a coma," she gave me the best sarcastic glare she could manage.

"Do you?" I pressed on. I wanted to hear her say it.

"Damn it Edward! Don't you get it by now? No matter how many ways you try to get rid of me, I will still always love you. And guess what?" I wouldn't even know where to begin guessing. "There isn't a damn thing you can do about it." She said defiantly.

I cupped her face in my hands and I kissed her full on the lips.

It was like being alive again. The scorching desire for her brought me back to life. My instincts of pushing my violent nature took action and allowed me to have this intimate moment with my Bella.

My very _fragile _Bella.

I pushed her away and she was radiating happiness. She was smiling a broad smile with tears running down her cheeks. She leaned into me and I embraced her carefully.

"I love you Edward," she whispered through her tears.

"As I love you, my Bella." I pulled her closer. She would never belong anywhere else like she does in my arms. It's as if God himself built my arms for the very purpose to protect and hold her. It should be this way forever.

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TADAH! It was Bella's vague sense of reality that Edward was able to bring her back. I've decided to take a break from the guys and let Bella do the talking for a chapter or two. Followed by a concluding chapter and prologue. This was my first fanfiction, and i'm glad it took off so well. but there is NO way i could have done it withought my fans. THANK YOU AGAIN! don't be scared of the review button!


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